Yeah, Baby! I’m doing it right this time and it feels, well, right!
This time, I’m obeying the rules and posting my submission for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers on Friday.
I’m a law-abiding gal, and all this roguishness of late worries me.
Maybe I’m going through “The Change.”
Holy Sweating Sagging Boobies, Batman! No wonder I don’t know what’s happening around here. I need to lie down before another line with symptoms attaches to me.
Or maybe I’ve been through “The Change” and don’t give a hoot ‘n nanny anymore.
Yup-eree. I knew I’d be able to wear my fancy feathers without payin’ no nevermind to any persnickety squawkin’. Heck, my hearin’ is gone anyway.
Either way, it’s chaos over here at Lorna’s Voice.
I don’t even know what I’m doing next.
Or when.
I think I’m supposed to post a flash fiction piece, right?
Right.
So this week’s photo comes to us from C. Hase.
Awesome, huh?
The genre is realistic fiction.
Here is my story, coming in at 99 words.
Trivial Pursuits
“Look! There’s a beauty!” He beamed as he reached the massive rusty anchor chain.
She didn’t respond, too bored with this version of Trivial Pursuit.
“Help me move this … this thing. I bet there’s more under here.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. Don’t you have enough? You’ve been at this for hours.” She heaved a sigh.
He heaved a sigh. “I need more blue. Blue is more valuable than green or white.” He began digging.
“It’s just sea glass, not diamonds!”
Never looking up, he said, “It’s the challenge. What else are we going to do on our second honeymoon?”
*****
This story is more realistic than fiction. It’s based on my unfortunate real second honeymoon experience in Hawaii. My now ex-husband nearly tripped over a several hundred pound sea lion because he was so focused on his maniacal obsessive enthusiastic hunt for blue sea glass. We were celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. He left me two years later. I hear he spends a great deal of time at a time-share in Florida. I wonder if his pursuit of blue sea glass continues …
He found some nice blue sea glass on this stretch of beach (on Oahu) as I recall. I enjoyed the views while he focused on the dirt. We were kind of mismatched.
I have no idea what’s coming up next, so you’ll just have to pop over here and take a chance on me.
There’s a heat wave happening around my parts (not my personal parts, but my geographical parts), so I got one of these beauties in my freezer for when I, um it gets too hot to handle.
Lorna's Voice 
Jun 11, 2015 @ 10:56:11
Yes, there were so many signs that he was losing interest in me and the marriage. I refused to see it. I actually applaud him for having the courage to end it. I’m so much happier now. 🙂
Jun 11, 2015 @ 00:40:32
Wow! Sorry to hear this is based in fact. What a jerk! (I hope that’s okay for me to say, not knowing the man personally.) On a less judgmental note, it can be so difficult to us to see the things right under our own noses sometimes, can’t it? We could all use this lesson in awareness.
All my best,
MG
Jun 09, 2015 @ 11:49:25
🙂
Jun 08, 2015 @ 22:32:40
Oops…
Jun 08, 2015 @ 19:52:37
Ah, that is a good question. Answer: I wasn’t thinking. 😉
Jun 08, 2015 @ 19:33:12
Blue sea glass, eh?
I’m surprised it even lasted 25 years. What were you thinking?
Randy
Jun 08, 2015 @ 17:21:53
Thanks so much for popping in. Glad you enjoyed my silly lead-in antics and the story! 🙂
Jun 08, 2015 @ 17:20:04
Oh, poor you! When I got divorced, I was able to leave the collector and the collections behind. Now I live in a clutter-free home. Ahhhhhhh. 🙂
Jun 08, 2015 @ 17:16:50
Well, that was my reaction to the whole darned 2nd honeymoon! 😉
Jun 08, 2015 @ 16:39:53
Ha! Blue sea glass indeed! (Not sure what point I’m trying to make, but that’s all I’ve got).
Jun 08, 2015 @ 15:06:42
Smiles.
Jun 08, 2015 @ 13:23:17
Men are collectors of everything but dusters to dust their collections with. I live with a hoarder who has a craze for collecting keyboards, especially harpsichords, virginals, and square pianos that need renovating, he says for resale but … need I say more?
Blue glass sounds rather pretty and at least the hunt for it seems to take you to some beautiful locations, unlike the fusty auction rooms I might find myself dragged around, if on holiday!
A good fun story.
I loved your bit at the beginning of the post about the menopause. Good luck with it.
Jun 07, 2015 @ 21:21:48
What a varied post! I love your lead-in; the menpause item is side-splitting (are the muscles still sufficiently intact to allow for that degree of hilarity, I wonder?) And the story, while I echo other commenters’ expressions of sympathy that it was based on your experience, is a gem – a diamond, not sea-glass. Most entertaining.
Jun 07, 2015 @ 20:15:18
I agree, whichever day you pick, these are fun to pick and the friends I have met in this group are as precious as the stories they write! 🙂
Jun 07, 2015 @ 20:14:02
Sea glass is kind of neat, but not when you take second fiddle to it on a second honeymoon!
Jun 07, 2015 @ 18:13:42
Keep laughing then. Tufts of hair in the hand is not a pleasant sight to visualise.
Jun 07, 2015 @ 17:54:39
Oh dear, what else would you do on your second honeymoon, indeed. Great fun to read, but in real life, probably not. I’m guilty of looking for semi precious stones on beaches or wherever else they could be found, but had never heard of sea glass before. Yay, something new to look for when on a beach. The SO, in the meantime, goes fishing. Great story.
Jun 07, 2015 @ 16:42:09
I happen to be a serious sea glass hunter, so you had me at sea glass… but how unfortunate that this was all he could think to do, and so much sadder that 25 years ended like that. I like the way you stringed all of that into a fun story, that’s imbued with humor and irony, in equal parts.
As for rules, there are few with FF… 100 words is the only one most of us stick to! It was Fridays, a long time ago, but it really should be Wednesday Fictioneers now! 😉 It’s fun to do, whichever day you pick!
Jun 07, 2015 @ 15:02:25
What I can tell you is that chain came from a very large vessel which makes its presence on the beach quite mysterious and an almost worthy beginning of some mystery novel
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:52:06
I really don’t know, Peter, since someone else took the photo. Just an old anchor chain found on the beach?
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:49:20
Thanks, it was meant to be humorous.
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:48:19
Never thought about that angle on my story…thanks for pointing that out! Now I feel all proud of myself! 🙂
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:47:22
Both of them were Too tall for my tastes, so neither… 😉
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:45:43
Me thinks this is the definition of pure friendship and total love!
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:44:58
Thanks. And I think there is a difference in a hobby and an obsession… 😉
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:41:53
He sure does. That’s why I can laugh about the old life!
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:36:38
We both did, or maybe I did and he didn’t. It just was time for us to go our separate ways.
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:35:49
No just a kick in the pants and out the door (which he did to me). No worries. I’m happy now!
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:33:59
Thanks so much. Glad to know I’m not alone!
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:32:54
I guess to some people it is like diamonds! Thanks for sharing your story. 🙂
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:31:49
That about sums it! Thanks!
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:31:26
Yup, that’s about the size of it. I didn’t share that he insisted that we take my mom along for the trip as well. Romance was not on the agenda for him. On the plus side, my mom and I had a lovely time! 🙂
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:26:29
Smart woman! 🙂
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:25:54
If I don’t laugh about it, I’ll pull my hair out!
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:25:09
Thanks! I hung in for 27 years. Long story…
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:24:20
Thanks, Diana. That’s what’s so fun about this challenge. Now, if only I could apply this skill to my real writing…
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:23:18
Thanks for your comments (and empathy). I suppose if both people were into the hunt, it would be just lovely. We were one two very different wavelengths. Oh well…
Jun 07, 2015 @ 14:20:41
The best stories are the real ones! 🙂
Jun 06, 2015 @ 20:30:05
Well told story. Loved the part about your ex tripping over the sea lion.
Jun 06, 2015 @ 13:51:04
I remember finding some blue sea glass up in Newfoundland. Pretty rare stuff though. Great story, although it’s too bad it’s based on reality. I’m sure it’s not how my wife would spend our second honeymoon either. 🙂
-David
Jun 06, 2015 @ 11:41:53
Bravo! You said more in 99 words, than most can say in 1000.
Jun 06, 2015 @ 09:34:47
I’m surprised there was time in the marriage for a second honeymoon. I’d have thought it might be over shortly after the first. Nicely done.
Jun 06, 2015 @ 08:49:54
Funny but I guess when it was your real life experience it wasn’t quite so humorous.
Jun 06, 2015 @ 08:28:42
Connie and I had our fortieth anniversary in January. Since we never had a first honeymoon, a second has been totally out of the question. After all, what would we do anyway? I’ve never been one to search for glass, but I have been known to pass gas. I tell her it smells like lilacs or fresh cut roses, but for some reason she never believes me.
Jun 06, 2015 @ 05:54:20
Dear Lorna,
Sorry about the reality part of your story. It doesn’t sound like much fun for a second honeymoon if that’s all he could think of to do.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Jun 06, 2015 @ 05:48:13
The obsessive male – nicely told.
Jun 05, 2015 @ 23:49:50
When my father was dying an old friend came to visit. She stayed a few days as she had traveled far. She spent her free time going to the beach and collecting sea glass. By the time I arrived she had been there several days and had amassed quite a collection. my step mother, already under enormous stress hissed to me at one point “If I hear one more word about sea glass…”
It was kinda pretty 😉
Jun 05, 2015 @ 21:21:35
Lorna, I can relate to this on so many levels (http://amyreesewrites.com/2015/05/12/buck-it-up/). I feel your pain. Nice write.
Jun 05, 2015 @ 20:26:51
looks like their relationship needs a reboot. 🙂
Jun 05, 2015 @ 18:07:03
A definite case of “I collect, therefore I am”. 25 years is a long time. Guess people change.
Jun 05, 2015 @ 14:33:50
Fun post, the menopause part, anyway. Next year (January) is our 25th. Wonder if I might take up the hunt for sea glass. That’s the sad part. But isn’t that what life’s about…a mixture of both. But look at who you have in your life now. It seems like Phil more than makes up for it.
Jun 05, 2015 @ 10:13:40
Oh, I love collecting sea glass and agates – but I also try not to stumble over creatures much bigger than I am. Fun tale, this.
Jun 05, 2015 @ 10:05:54
Doesn’t have to make sense to me for you to make me smile. That’s gotta be luv. ❤
Jun 05, 2015 @ 07:51:29
Who is the male in the story moving the chain: Gulliver or Hercules? 😉
Jun 05, 2015 @ 07:15:31
I have a feeling that YOU are too hot to handle! Enjoyed your flash fiction immensely. Great photo – and fun how you minimized the import of that huge anchor to little old sea glass. GREAT!
Jun 05, 2015 @ 06:50:15
Ok, I don’t get the ‘blue glass’ thing, but I think ‘collecting’ is something most guys understand (I certainly do!).
Great story, I get a sense of dry humour from it 🙂
Cheers
KT
Jun 05, 2015 @ 04:59:03
You always make my laugh and smile. I have to say, “What is that anchor chain all about?” I’m a bit of a nut for all things maritime so I found it fascinating