I know you’re probably running out of things to do while you’ve been waiting for me to get back in the swing of things around here.
Did you miss me?
I missed you.
Seeing my family and friends back East was great. Hugging them was even better.
But being back there felt strange. I was visiting a place that I used to call “home” for most of my life, which is a looooong time.
Speaking of long time, I got a special notice from the WordPress Overlords telling me that I’m a 4-year-old blogger.
Holy Cow! That’s 28 dog years and at least 40 blog years, right?
They’ve got this new fangled way of writing posts now. Supposed to be easier, but I just don’t see it. Beep, beep, boop, my sagging fanny! Are they trying to force us oldersters out?
Should I be thinking of blogtirement?
Where did the time go?
This is me when I started…
Yes, I was four years old in this photo and blissfully clueless–as clueless as when I began optimistically blogging to make this book and me famous.
This is me now, a mere four years later…
Not famous, disheveled but remaining optimistic. I’m also buckled in because I’m wiser about book writing and publishing because I know the ride is rougher than I ever imagined back in the day. But am I going to let that stop me? Naw! Well…
What have I learned?
1. Blogging ages you, like, A LOT.
2. My first post got Freshly Pressed and I haven’t been Freshly Pressed since, so (like life) blogging is full of surprises and sets you up for disappointment in the fame department.
3. Blogging ages you, like, A LOT.
Aw, heck. Since I keep meeting so many great people in this bloggity blog blog world, I’ll hang in for a few more years.
Until I morph into this…
Of course this is unrealistic. My hair will never be this thick and long. I’d say 2 more blog years, tops.
Until then, I’m up for another submission for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers.
I’m bound and determined not to let anyone die in this story.
I hope I left my macabre muse back in NYC where s/he will blend in just fine.
If you can’t read the fine print, it says: 73% of people killed in Manhattan crashes were pedestrians. Nice uplifting poster, huh? I was walking by it when I saw it…
This week’s photograph is courtesy of Marie Gail Stratford.
The genre this week is realistic fiction. I can do this and not kill anyone. I know I can…
Holy Cow
Sneaking under the barbed wire fence was only the beginning of her adventure. He dared her to touch the side of the silo and return.
As she turned to run back, a herd of curious cows appeared.
She stopped.
They stopped.
She moved.
They moved.
She sprinted.
One cow—one hostile and swift bovine—charged her.
She heard dull thundering hooves catching up to her.
Reaching the fence, she dove to safety between the wires he held open.
“Holy cow!” she said, inspecting her cuts.
“Nasty freaks! Probably those power lines affected their brains,” he said with a grin.
(99 words)
Lest you think this is unrealistic, I grew up across from a dairy farm and did my fair share of roaming in the cow pasture. I got chased enough times by one particular ornery cow (not a bull–I know the difference) that I gave up my cow pasture adventures. Climbing through barbed wire fences is not easy or comfortable–especially when you’re in a hurry!
As for the effect of high power lines on our bodies and states of mind, well, there’s evidence.
*****
Until next week…
I really need to do something about my writer’s block, so I’m going to try this new gizmo I saw in the Delta Sky Magazine. It looks very effective, don’t you think?
Lorna's Voice 
Jun 01, 2015 @ 12:39:16
Well, if you read it, it must be true! I’m not planning on quitting any time soon. Just need to take breaks to recharge the old fading batteries every now and again… 😐
May 29, 2015 @ 15:54:56
So glad you’re back and you’re not allowed to quit the blog. I read that somewhere in Blog 101:)
May 21, 2015 @ 18:58:26
I don’t know about “young.” Lots of bloggers that I used to follow have drifted away to that cyber-somewhere, never to be heard from again…
May 20, 2015 @ 21:33:58
Hi Lorna. I’m happy to see you back as we only recently connected with one another’s blogs and this is the first post that came to me. I love your sense of humour and look forward to more blogs and visits. And, oh, you are still very young to be worrying about retirement in the blogosphere. 🙂
May 19, 2015 @ 19:01:58
Thanks so much, Suzanne! Glad you enjoyed your time over here. 🙂
May 19, 2015 @ 18:14:54
Hilarious, Lorna. It seems like there’s always one individual who wants to stand out in the crowd by being different. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne
May 17, 2015 @ 20:59:13
🙂
May 17, 2015 @ 19:26:30
Absolutely!
May 17, 2015 @ 18:52:32
So you know what I’m talking about! 🙂
May 17, 2015 @ 18:44:57
That is quite an accomplishment–be proud that the WP OverLords know you exist!
May 17, 2015 @ 18:20:25
Dear Lorna,
Very entertaining page this week and that doesn’t include your story for the prompt which was also entertaining. 😉
I’ve never been freshly pressed. 😦 I doubt that I ever will be, however WordPress has featured Friday Fictioneers three times in articles about blog challenges. I guess I can settle fore that. 😀
Good story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
May 17, 2015 @ 15:04:56
Oh, yes! I know those eye rolls and the sniggering.
May 17, 2015 @ 13:09:27
You are so right. Bulls get all the bad press while angry cows are “bullying” children in pastures all around the world. Where’s the justice in that? 🙂
May 17, 2015 @ 13:04:13
You’re so sweet! 🙂 ❤
May 17, 2015 @ 13:02:11
Oh I love it! Yes, the cows can definitely charge! We used to hang out on the “Country Road” and were chased a few times…
May 17, 2015 @ 12:58:42
Glad you’re smiling! My work here is done!
May 17, 2015 @ 12:54:23
I’m happy for you! Never had the occasion to get up close and personal with a pig. But I used to feed the cows through the fences. They were all quite nice. There was this one cow, though, who had it in for me. Don’t know why, but when she gave me that look, I high-tailed it!
May 17, 2015 @ 12:51:48
Thanks Amy. Yes, it is a great deal of work and only fellow blogger know. I try to discuss this with family and friends. You should see the eye-rolls and hear the sniggering. 😉
May 17, 2015 @ 12:45:24
I think most cows would rather leave you alone, but some just have a bit of the devil in them! 😉
May 16, 2015 @ 17:43:10
What a dare, what a relief that there’s a lucky outcome. I’ve always had a healthy respect for cows despite their soulful big, brown eyes.
May 16, 2015 @ 14:50:46
Great story! Those cows try to look innocent, but I sure wouldn’t want to be in a field with them. Yikes! Congrats on your four year blog birthday. I’m coming up on three years soon and I share some of your sentiment. It’s a commitment, that’s for sure! I laugh when you say it’s 40 blogging years. It’s interesting how the years seem much longer. I totally get that. Congrats!
May 16, 2015 @ 14:16:51
Loved the story and no animals or humans were killed in the process.
I had a much different cow experience. A herd lived in the field next to where I lived.
The first time I used our side of the fenced field to go for a walk — so I said “Hello Girls” (I do tend to talk to things) First one, then two then and so and the whole herd was looking cow-eyed at me through the fence. Their side going further down was rougher, but they followed me as far as they could.
This happened every time. All I had to say was “Hello Girls” and they couldn’t get to the fence fast enough. Not an ornery one in the bunch. Now, talk about pigs, boars are really ornery.
May 16, 2015 @ 03:23:24
Congratulations on your four years. Laughed through your rundown of your blogging years. I took your point – blogging ages you. If I listened I’d stop now – I can’t afford to get any older. Loved the flash. Had the tension but ended happily. Not fun being chased by animals bigger than yourself.
Still smiling.
May 15, 2015 @ 14:52:56
You’re the best…we needed that warning, Lorna. 🙂 I do try to keep popping in here or there. It’s the least I can do. I can always count on you to give me a lift. Thanks!
May 15, 2015 @ 14:17:29
Those female bovine can be dangerous…meanwhile it’s the men who get all the bad press. Great story! 🙂
May 15, 2015 @ 14:05:47
Not, all heart. There’s so much more of me you haven’t seen…
May 15, 2015 @ 14:03:43
You’re all heart, Lorna.
May 15, 2015 @ 13:08:01
I doubt it. If cows can be so mean, imagine how scary a bull with big horns would be! YIKES!
May 15, 2015 @ 13:03:52
Hopefully you’ll never have to use this piece of information…
May 15, 2015 @ 13:00:39
🙂 It got pretty frothy by the time she reached the fence!
As for the “Isolator,” you bet that thing pumps happy-gas. Why the heck else would I wear it? When I’m done with it (never) I’ll let you borrow it. 😉
May 15, 2015 @ 06:59:35
That cow wasn’t really chasing her, she was whipping up a milkshake. I want one of those writing helmets. I assume that’s happy-gas you’re pumping in there. 🙂
May 15, 2015 @ 02:07:38
I’ll bear that in mind.
May 14, 2015 @ 22:10:58
very nice. with every move she took, i was with her. i hope she participates in the next running of the bulls in pamplona.
May 14, 2015 @ 18:32:06
I can’t even begin to imagine the cross-cultural messes I might get myself into! Oy vey! 😉 Thanks for following the cow-line to my story. I knew that run-in with that ornery bovine would come in handy someday! 🙂
May 14, 2015 @ 18:29:31
🙂
May 14, 2015 @ 18:29:05
Still care-giving, huh? You are a true angel. I’m finding it a bit stuffy in this contraption, but what form of hiding doesn’t have its drawbacks? 😉 Take care of yourself, V. ❤
May 14, 2015 @ 18:08:23
I’ve been off line for too long, too–but that seems to be the only option when caregiving and assuming the myriad of chores my hubby always does. But it’s good to see you, Lorna, for a bit of comic relief. If you find that thing helps your creativity, send it my way.
May 14, 2015 @ 17:50:23
Ha. Big smile. That was a great response.
May 14, 2015 @ 17:11:54
Followed you here from another Friday Fiction cow story so to speak… I’ve met a cow like yours too. Pretty scary!
Loving the funny captions – Brit/American translation makes one even funnier actually – that’s one sparky old lady with the saggy you- know what…
May 14, 2015 @ 14:27:34
That I know of… 😉 Thanks for stopping by and reading my story. Unlike the other Friday Fictioneers, you have to wade through all my zany ramblings to get to the 100-word story. You’re a trooper! 🙂
May 14, 2015 @ 14:21:13
You made it..4 years and no one was killed. It was a fun read.
May 14, 2015 @ 14:20:12
🙂 ❤
May 14, 2015 @ 14:19:20
Hmmm. I’ve tried to outrun a cow. No fun at all but doable (at least when I was young). Tipping a cow? Unthinkable! They’d never get my order right and the service would be so slow and messy, don’t you think? 😉
May 14, 2015 @ 13:05:18
Cow tipping is much more fun than trying to out run a cow – don’t you think?
May 14, 2015 @ 11:46:53
😀
May 14, 2015 @ 11:25:34
I sure do understand. Love you!
May 14, 2015 @ 10:48:48
🙂
May 14, 2015 @ 10:46:12
Back at you, P! I couldn’t visit my former neighborhood–too many memories of the Scrappy Dude. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I felt so odd in that place that was so familiar. Oh well, time is taking its time to heal my grief.
May 14, 2015 @ 10:43:55
They probably do, but they are in no mooood to talk! 😉
May 14, 2015 @ 10:43:00
Thanks! And I’m happy no one died. Maybe my malicious muse is marauding Manhattan! Oh my, I seem to have developed an alliteration affliction!
May 14, 2015 @ 10:39:22
I thought it only fair to warn people. There are enough dangers in the world! 😉 Glad to see you popping in. Hope you are well, Gayle!
May 14, 2015 @ 10:37:31
Never underestimate the ferocity of an angry bovine!
May 14, 2015 @ 10:36:21
Thanks for saying so, Rob. I’ve got lots more to say and this is such a friendly place to kibbutz!
May 14, 2015 @ 10:34:40
Lucky you! They can be fast and you don’t want them to butt you with their large bony heads. Kid-cow collisions don’t end well for the kid…ever. 😉
May 14, 2015 @ 10:33:12
Probably 😉
May 14, 2015 @ 10:31:45
And a crazy guy to send his friend into the pasture…I think he knew about the cow, don’t you?
May 14, 2015 @ 10:30:40
That was on the trip across country. I think we were crossing the Rockies and I has Altitude Sickness or something!
May 14, 2015 @ 10:29:02
When I got Freshly Pressed, I thought it was WordPress’s version of a “Welcome to the Neighborhood” gift basket. I thought all new bloggers had the same showcase to get them started. Was I a blog virgin or what? 😐
May 14, 2015 @ 10:23:00
Welcome to the ” 4 year Blogger Club” and I couldn’t have a nicer neighbour. I’ve never been “Freshly pressed,” lightly squeezed or even tickled but I know other great Bloggers who can say the same like our chum Al, so I’m not entirely alone at the back of the class. Here’s to another four eh 🙂
May 14, 2015 @ 09:22:25
You look posessed in that photo and maybe you are! XO
May 14, 2015 @ 08:31:47
A crazy cow has to be caused those powerlines – what else could it be?
May 14, 2015 @ 05:46:52
I remember as a kid deliberately trying to get a cow to chase me by waving a red jacket in front of me. It didn’t work!
Visit Keith’s Ramblings!
May 14, 2015 @ 05:32:54
Seeing friends and family is great, and hugging them even better.. I do so agree… four years blogging, wow you are getting an old hand at this… but your present day photo shows a good looking young woman with many blogging years ahead of her…
May 14, 2015 @ 02:06:37
Man-eating heifers is a new one on me: very good.
May 13, 2015 @ 23:15:11
Hi Lorna…sounds like your visit back home was a successful one. Thanks for the heads up about ornery cows. They all seem so peace loving but of course there must be some that get peeved when their space is invaded. 🙂 I have no plans to ever intrude on any cows…peaceful or otherwise. Cute story!
May 13, 2015 @ 21:42:50
Well, that was a good laugh before retiring……to bed. 🙂 Love the story, and so glad you didn’t kill anyone. Great to have you back, Lorna. xx
May 13, 2015 @ 21:38:02
Welcome back, Lorna! I too am about to hit my 4th blogaversary. Where dies the time go? Probably those aggressive cows have the answer!
May 13, 2015 @ 21:02:22
So happy you went home and got those hugs. Wonderful photo of you. Smooches and hugs ❤ 🙂
May 13, 2015 @ 18:58:08
Good plan!
May 13, 2015 @ 18:57:12
They can be so mean. Not everyone knows this. I figured this story was as much a Public Service Announcement as flash fiction! 😉
May 13, 2015 @ 18:56:13
Yeah, I don’t know why that product isn’t in every home! 😉 It’s good to be back, Narelle.
May 13, 2015 @ 18:45:22
You know how to make a re-entrance. Very funny stuff. And that beep beep boop … pathetic, isn’t it? 🙂 I’ve got to post The Isolator on Facebook. God knows, they need it there x
May 13, 2015 @ 18:31:41
Aw, thanks! Good to be back. 🙂
May 13, 2015 @ 18:30:51
I got chased by cows once. Not a pretty sight.
May 13, 2015 @ 18:30:26
All of a sudden I don’t feel so ancient. Maybe I have more blog years left in me than I thought. Thanks, Al, you are such a pal! 🙂
May 13, 2015 @ 17:33:01
Welcome Lorna, nice return, mad as ever, lovely as ever and funny as ever. I never got chased by cows or bulls but did have a run in with a pig.
May 13, 2015 @ 17:15:49
Welcome back, gal! Missed ya. I sure hope you’re wrong about blog years…otherwise I might be the oldest blogger in the universe, and that includes the martian bloggers too. (and the Venutians, Jupiterians….well you get the idea). I did hear that there’s a blogger in the Andromeda Galaxy that’s been at it for 2 1/2 million years, but his (or her or its) blogs won’t reach earth for another 20 million years.
May 13, 2015 @ 15:59:57
Sure did miss that wit and humour! Welcome home! 🙂