What’s the worse that could happen? So I get a few more wrinkles from my Thinkie Face…
I’ve decided to join Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers.
It’s a writing challenge in response to a photograph Rochelle posts each Wednesday.
The kicker is that the submission must be 100 words or less.
That’s a real challenge for me because:
1. I’m a sociologist by training and no one can write long, drawn out, complicated sentences like a sociologist can (except maybe a philosopher, but I doubt it)–see what I mean?
2. I’m in total, absolute, diabolically complete love with adjectives.
3. I never met an adverb that I didn’t invite in willingly and unquestioningly.
4. I feel the need to explain myself over and over and over again. Yes. I do.
5. Having deadlines and word limits makes me stressed and stress gets me all conflusterated.
But, I’ve never let a list of five things stop me from doing anything before, so why start (stop?) now?
Right!
Here I go.
Watch me.
Are you watching me?
*****
This is the photograph about which I’m supposed to write 100 words or less of something. (Those 16 words don’t count and neither do these 11 words.)
Mirage
He dropped to his knees, his body trembling.
With raw, unfamiliar hands, he wiped his tear-stung eyes.
“It’s so freaking bright. Where the hell am I?”
The eerie sound of air whispering through emptiness answered him.
“How long have I been out here? What happened to me?”
He moaned as his voice disappeared into the vacuum of silence.
“Am I hot or cold? I can’t tell.” He frantically slapped his arms, then legs, to feel something real.
After a few moments he looked up, squinting. “Are those igloos?”
Pushing himself up, he grabbed a handful of sand.
*****
So…
I counted. It was exactly 97 words. But were they 97 good words?
Should I try this again next week?
Yeah, no. It’s hard. But if I write better as a result, you’ll thank me, because you have to read this malarkey, not me. See? I really need to tighten up my writing, People.
Lorna's Voice 
May 01, 2015 @ 16:01:31
Thanks so much! 🙂
May 01, 2015 @ 15:33:14
I personally hate doing these but you handle them well. I knew this was going to take a turn but you still surprised me. Excellent!
Apr 28, 2015 @ 23:08:52
Thanks so much for your very welcomed feedback! My blog is mostly zany (as you could tell from my opening remarks). But I am a serious writer (or I try to be), so I know this group and weekly challenge is going to help me. I have learned a great deal already by reading many of the excellent submissions! 🙂
Apr 28, 2015 @ 20:20:41
I vote yes! Also, Friday Fictioneers is a good way to tighten up that writing as you did very well here. Your protagonist is not having a good day and you set that scene very well. 🙂 That said, your list of five things made me laugh and was great on its own too. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers!
Apr 27, 2015 @ 16:12:35
Thanks so much for your comment and support, Rochelle. You will definitely see me back and I know this will help my writing. You have such a great collection of writers here! I’m learning as much from reading the various submissions as from trying to write the weekly challenge!
Apr 27, 2015 @ 16:07:19
Thanks so much! Stop by any time! 🙂
Apr 27, 2015 @ 16:04:37
Thanks, Peter. I try to make everyone feel equally tortured, er, um, special! 😉
Apr 27, 2015 @ 08:49:20
Your interviews really do have a charm and quality all of their own
Apr 26, 2015 @ 14:28:17
Good words, indeed. I really liked this line, “The eerie sound of air whispering through emptiness answered him.” Nice!
Apr 26, 2015 @ 09:29:05
Dear Lorna,
Mark Twain is credited with having said, “If you see an adverb, kill it.” I find that to be a good rule.
At any rate, FF is a delightful exercise in brevity. It’s done a lot for my own writing…even the longer pieces.
I love your intro. I feel like I know you a little better. A hearty welcome to Friday Fictioneers and I hope to see you back next time.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Apr 25, 2015 @ 19:35:49
A man after my own heart! 🙂
Apr 25, 2015 @ 17:36:38
You’re a natural! And economical, (I would have zapped in three adverbs or adjectives just for the neatness of the thing!)
Apr 25, 2015 @ 16:24:49
I hope so! 🙂
Apr 25, 2015 @ 16:22:26
Thanks, Narelle! I hope to tighten up my writing and learn to think more creatively. If I do write another book, I want it to be better than the others… 🙂
Apr 25, 2015 @ 16:21:06
Thanks, I plan on it! 🙂
Apr 25, 2015 @ 16:20:35
That’s my goal” saying more with less. Maybe one day, all I will need to do is speak with emoticons! 😉
Apr 25, 2015 @ 16:19:34
Oh, I doubt that! But I may get a bit more short-winded! Thanks for popping by, Sandra! 🙂
Apr 25, 2015 @ 16:18:44
Think about it Victoria. I read many of the submissions and these are some great writers (prose and poetry) who take part in this challenge. I learned as much from reading their submissions as trying to write mine. They had such different takes on the photograph!
Apr 25, 2015 @ 16:16:55
Thanks, Elyse, I am!
Apr 25, 2015 @ 15:32:21
Go for it!
Apr 25, 2015 @ 14:51:52
Bravo. You did great. Learning to write economically is definitely a challenge–but see, you were still able to toss in a few adverbs and adjectives.
I need something now to jump-start my writing. Maybe…
Apr 25, 2015 @ 09:59:25
Welcome. You’ll never be long-winded again… 🙂 Good one.
Apr 25, 2015 @ 09:54:10
The last line was a shocker. Good one!
Apr 25, 2015 @ 07:24:32
Welcome Lorna. I’ve been part of this group for over 3 years. Soon you’ll be saying more with less. I loved your intro and the story. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Apr 25, 2015 @ 00:43:01
Yes you should come back next week! This was most enjoyable!
Apr 25, 2015 @ 00:21:21
For an adverb lover, you accomplished a lot in 97 words 🙂 Keep going for sure.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 19:55:37
You’re certainly on the way.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 17:44:33
Are you sure, because I could go on… 😉
Apr 24, 2015 @ 17:42:05
Any practice I can get in paring down my wordiness is good, be for my books or for promotional material. I sometimes read amazing authors and marvel at how simply they write beautiful sentences. That’s what I want people to think when they read my work. Someday…Until then, I’ll practice. 🙂
Apr 24, 2015 @ 17:36:27
I’m hoping this practice will tighten up my writing, too. Thanks for the kind welcome! 🙂 I look forward to next week’s photo…
Apr 24, 2015 @ 17:35:27
Similar in the mirage , not the reactors. Yours was a great flash. I know what you mean about writing but believe it or not writing these flashes I believe really hones your writing skills and makes it much easier when you are trying to summarise an 80,000 word book into one sentence or 100 words. Not that you have said you are doing that. Look forward to reading more of your flashes as the weeks go by.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 17:33:12
Absolutely!
Apr 24, 2015 @ 17:18:52
See you next week!
Apr 24, 2015 @ 14:59:30
Welcome aboard FF, fantastic piece of writing and great take on the prompt. I’ve only been doing this for 5 weeks and it is great fun and somewhat addictive. The word count is my nemesis, but I have had loads of ideas off the back of it and it’s definitely tightened up my work. See you next week 🙂
Apr 24, 2015 @ 13:45:05
Thanks. My first shot at this and it was fun!
Apr 24, 2015 @ 13:42:37
Thanks for the support, Liz. I will. I wanted to write something silly, but the picture was so bleak…
Apr 24, 2015 @ 13:41:49
🙂 My usual style is kind of wonky (as you saw. I could not pull anything zany out of my hat with this bleak photo, although I saw that a few managed. I have to learn to think more outside of that figurative box! Thanks for popping over and reading. 🙂
Apr 24, 2015 @ 13:39:51
Thanks so much! It’s something new and new is good, right?
Apr 24, 2015 @ 13:35:09
I loved every word (the caption ones as well). Keep going!!! Definitely!
Apr 24, 2015 @ 13:10:52
I enjoyed the Prologue and Epilogue more than the story 🙂 The story itself is on par with most of the Friday Fiction ones posted. Well done.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 12:31:19
That was really good, Lorna! Definitely keep going 🙂
Apr 24, 2015 @ 11:17:01
Got it
Apr 24, 2015 @ 11:15:51
Boy, is he in trouble. Some great descriptive writing here.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 11:05:11
Yes, I realized that I had to mine-sweep my adjectives to get this short piece short. That’s fine. I need more discipline! Thanks for popping over here and welcoming me to the fold! 🙂
Apr 24, 2015 @ 10:42:22
Sure, they’re fine words. Adjective-lovers do better with novel-length fiction, though. Writing “short” is an entirely different art form.
It’s good practice. I thought I would hate it, but it turns out to be a wonderful format.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 10:27:33
Thanks. It’s something different and different is always good to stretch your writer’s wings, right?
Apr 24, 2015 @ 10:26:23
Very cool, Lorna. I like it. As far as your list of why 100 words is challenging for you, I especially relate to your number 4. Thanks for sharing this. Very fun.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 10:23:34
Well, I could write about 500 words more about my need to get my point across until I’m absolutely, positively, unequivocally unsure you understand what I’m trying to say because being understood is very important to me not only as a writer, but as a person. Do you understand? Do you get my point. It’s important that you get my meaning. Are we clear?
Apr 24, 2015 @ 10:20:44
Thanks so much! It was, as you know, my first try and I found it fun! 🙂
Apr 24, 2015 @ 10:19:49
Thanks, Gerry. I do love to write. But I am stuck–creatively that is. I thought that this might light a fire under me. Who knows?
Apr 24, 2015 @ 10:18:13
The “Lorna words” keep piling up, don’t they? 😉
Apr 24, 2015 @ 10:17:34
Thanks. I didn’t know what to do with the photo and it was my first try at flash fiction…
Apr 24, 2015 @ 09:53:43
Good one. 🙂
Apr 24, 2015 @ 08:19:57
Nicely done. And I love conflusterated. It’s a new word to add to the dictionary.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 04:58:36
I do think this a very clever challenge not really for me, but you have mastered, nice one.. but you have proved you like writing with all the intro’.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 04:06:58
Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! I enjoyed your story, a good twist.
Apr 24, 2015 @ 04:04:33
“I feel the need to explain myself over and over and over again. Yes. I do.”
No I don’t believe you…