I bet that you think you planned well ahead for one of America’s most favorite holidays.
No, not National Buffet Day. Halloween. Repeat after me: Unlimited. Trips. To. The. Buffet. It’s, like, Thanksgiving and all the other food-festival holidays rolled into one! Speaking of rolls…
1. You bought enough candy to create an up-tick in the childhood obesity epidemic.
2. You bought or made your costume months ago just in case there was a last-minute run on fake blood.
3. You decorated your house with crap that will take weeks to replace with other holiday crap.
But I bet you didn’t think this far ahead (pardon the absolutely perfect pun)…
If you want to find out more so you can be better prepared for next year, check out this NY Times article.
In other kind of related news…
As this high sugar, fat, carb, caloric-intake time of the year is upon us until after January when we’re bombarded by ads for all the diet programs and products, I heard some disturbing news.
Crash-test dummies are being super-sized.
Yup.
The old ones were too skinny (170 pounds) to accurately reflect the average American driver, so Humanetics (the maker of these dummies) upped the weight to 273 with a BMI of 35. “Normal” BMI is between 18.5 and 25; “overweight” is between 25 and 30. Mine is 22.3–at least one thing about me is normal. If this is the new standard for air bags, too, I’m in trouble. I weigh 135. Those suckers are going to blast me through the seat into yesterday.
Do you think the solution to keeping Americans safer is to make crash test dummies obese?
Do you think red is the best color for this dummy?
Why is Slim Dummy naked and Chunky Dummy wearing a sporty outfit? Maybe he now has pockets for snacks. He probably texts while driving, too. What do you think?
Lorna's Voice 
Nov 05, 2014 @ 14:12:11
It’s not me unless I’m poking fun at something! 😉
Nov 05, 2014 @ 14:03:53
Younger and fatter–sounds like the American Dream, huh?
Nov 04, 2014 @ 16:40:12
I read a “scientific” article that stated wearing red makes you look ten years younger. Humanetics was just trying to affirm the bigger dummy by dressing him in red.
Nov 03, 2014 @ 19:50:06
I love the fun at the end of this, Lorna! Why is the heavier dummy wearing red, do you know? good question! Also, I liked how you made fun of decorations and costumes, also the obesity of children with their candy bags and Halloween treats! ha ha!
Nov 03, 2014 @ 10:09:43
I will have to look that up… 🙂
Nov 03, 2014 @ 10:06:11
🙂
Nov 03, 2014 @ 09:42:49
Guess not… 😦
Nov 01, 2014 @ 13:55:30
I would 🙂
Nov 01, 2014 @ 11:57:07
As Fred Sanford would say, “That’s one big dummy.” I thought we were done with super-sizing after that little documentary. I guess we didn’t learn anything.
Nov 01, 2014 @ 09:42:40
I’d check out the disability and dismemberment benefits… 😉
Nov 01, 2014 @ 09:41:45
A dizzy blonde? You’d think anyone would listen to me? 😉
Nov 01, 2014 @ 07:21:29
You should be in the car design business 😉
Nov 01, 2014 @ 06:58:41
I wonder….munch…. if…munch, munch…that crash….munch, munch….dummy job…..munch….pays well?….munch, munch.
Oct 31, 2014 @ 21:04:02
I never had such a low BMI until I became sick, so there is an upside and a downside to that particular number… 😐
And that air bag concern is real for smaller people. Maybe they should calibrate the deployment based on weight in the seat or something…
Oct 31, 2014 @ 21:00:30
Take comfort that if my air bag ever deploys, I’ll be a permanent, albeit gross, part of my driver’s seat.
Oct 31, 2014 @ 17:08:22
Chunky Dummy is self-concious about her weight. Leave her alone, you tiny, skinny thing! (dummy bursts into tears and heads off to find comfort in her secret stash of 1/2 price Halloween candy.)
Oct 31, 2014 @ 12:57:15
ooooh – now you’ve planted a new fear in my head … the airbag. There are already injuries to particularly women from the force of airbags. If they are going to be recalibrated for a much larger person, I can only hope that my airbag never goes off.
…. and I envy your BMI 😉
Oct 31, 2014 @ 12:34:03
My teeth are hurting thinking of all that C6H12O6. Just copy and paste into your browser if you don’t get it, lol. Like you have all that time, but hey, thank you for sparking a brain cell so you remember me when you get to the west coast, lol. xoxo ❤