I’m in a bit of a quandary.
I’m more mixed up than a peanut butter and bacon milkshake.
And it’s all because I’m trying to be a halfway-descent Buddhist in this crazified world.
Here’s my problem in a nutshell. WARNING: It’s a pretty big nutshell.
Buddha had lots of suggestions, not commandments, so you’ve got to get really comfortable in the gray areas. But some of his suggestions seem pretty important to his teachings.
The one that’s been hanging me up is being non-judgmental.
His whole deal was that he came right out and said, “There is suffering.” No avoiding it, People. But he also was nice enough to give us plenty of guidelines to live by so that we don’t add to the suffering that life invariably brings (sickness, aging, death, confusing and long sentences).
Back to not judging … This means not judging situations, other people, and yourself.
A tall order, huh?
I ran headfirst into judging because of two very popular TV shows: Dexter (one of my mom’s all-time favorite TV shows) and Breaking Bad.
Without watching either show, but knowing what each was about (a psychopathic serial killer who was everyone’s favorite blood-splatter analyst for the Miami Metro Police Department and cleaner-upper of “bad guys”; and a chemistry teacher ostensibly trying to provide for his family after he learns of his stage 4 lung cancer by cooking and selling “blue meth” and becoming Phoenix’s most feared and revered drug lord), I judged these shows as “unwholesome.”
I also judged my eighty-year-old Mom, who is in love with Dexter, as being slightly off balance. I blamed the growing meth problems in America on Breaking Bad, thinking it glamorized drugs. Forget Judge Judy; I was Judge Lorna.
Buddhism also teaches its students to be mindful, open-minded, and curious. Shizzle.
I was making all these judgments without watching a single episode of either Emmy-award-winning program.
Remember, my goal is to minimize suffering. Mine preferably.
After the season finales of both of these shows, I began watching.
Talk about unwholesome! The Buddha has an eight-fold path to help us avoid unnecessary suffering. I think just about all eight were blown away: wholesome speech (Debra and Jesse had mega-ca-ca mouths), wholesome livelihood (violence and causing harm were major plot lines), and wholesome intention (sure, Dex had a code of who to disembowel, but he played fast and loose with it; and Walt liked the power more than the money for his family’s future). I could go on, but you get the picture …
But another problem developed. Especially with Breaking Bad. The acting. The writing. Can it get any better? Yes! Every episode it does! Get ready for some whining when this series ends…
I loved the show. I didn’t love the topic, but the acting and writing were the finest in a TV series I’d ever watched. The darned thing spoiled me for any other series (except maybe some BBC series, which are smartly acted and written).
So, guess what? I started judging myself. What the heck kind of Buddhist binge-watches Breaking Bad?
If Buddhists had confession, I would go. But they don’t. All we have is meditation, and you know how well that works. I keep falling asleep while I’m supposed to be focusing on my breath.
So what’s a dizzy blonde Buddhist to do?
I could just stop watching TV I suppose, but avoiding life’s challenges is not what Buddhists do. We face them. We embrace them. We notice how we feel and explore. Then we do the best we can to follow the path toward less suffering, whatever that happens to be for us at the time.
Like I said, you have to be comfortable in the gray areas.
I stopped judging my mom about Dexter being her hero. She’s eighty. She can have any hero she likes. After watching these shows, I don’t believe that they encourage pathological killing (it’s a lot of work and takes a lot of rolls of plastic sheets) or are responsible for the methamphetamine problem we have in society (it’s more complicated than watching a really good show). Quite the opposite. Many of the storylines showed the complications and negative ramifications of such unwholesome behaviors (although not in their full context).
And I’ve stopped judging myself for admiring the writing and acting of Breaking Bad. It was those elements that kept me watching the show–not wanting to learn how to make or distribute “blue meth.”
So, I guess maybe I’m not such a messed up Buddhist after all. But I do have to work on that mediation thing…




Mar 20, 2014 @ 21:31:00
I’ve never done a blog hop myself, so I’m really excited to be participating! 😀 I’m sending out an e-mail to you now with all the details!
Mar 17, 2014 @ 09:30:47
I found that it has brought me much peace–not always–but a lot more than any other form of religion I’ve explored.
Mar 17, 2014 @ 09:29:15
Glad to hear you’re on a path to recovery, Gerry!
Mar 17, 2014 @ 09:28:13
Tell me more about the blog hop–email at dizzylorna@hotmail.com Sounds interesting! 🙂
Mar 17, 2014 @ 09:26:53
It’s rather unavoidable these days–even when it’s bleeped out, you know what was said. Maybe that’s why I like watching the old films and TV shows–they were more gentle…
Mar 17, 2014 @ 09:25:19
Come to think of it, I have a few pics of Alex struggling with a BM that look notoriously like that, too! Ha ha!! 🙂
Mar 17, 2014 @ 09:22:36
Oh, I do plenty of flitting and judging before I nod off!! 😉
Mar 15, 2014 @ 20:35:36
Never saw either show or even knew what they are about. I think you worked out your dilemma so well and you can consider yourself confessed and absolved. As for meditation….you are not alone. For me, it’s not sleep, though. It’s this mind that just has to flit (and sometimes judge).
Mar 15, 2014 @ 17:43:31
Ohhh … forgot – the baby in the pix looks like he’s having a hard time with his BM. LOLOL
Mar 15, 2014 @ 17:42:16
Sometimes, FU is needed in life. There’s just no getting around it. I don’t use it in public but when I need it (like if I stub my toe or bite my tongue – unintentionally of course) in the privacy of my home … it is said very loudly. I still feel holy – despite the word.
On the shows … I shall take the 5th. ~~~~ : – )
Mar 15, 2014 @ 15:35:17
Lol, we’re in the same boat here. I really didn’t want to like either show, but the acting was good. I still don’t watch them, but I can definitely understand why so many people do. The way they build the drama is really well done too. 🙂 Lol, I end up loving shows like Supernatural, Elementary, Castle, and Almost Human (I watch WAY too much tv.) – although Elementary and Castle are kind of crime/police shows, they’re all total escapes from reality. XD
Also, I wanted to see if you’d be interested in doing a blog hop on your writing process? 🙂
Mar 14, 2014 @ 09:53:44
Say 8 more “Ohms” and call me tomorrow morning.
Mar 14, 2014 @ 09:42:54
I am aware of the programs you mention,, have not really watched them here though, odd one…As for me: well with the help of many pills and doctors I am getting there. Much stronger now, need some body building stuff though, [need to put on weight] but generally well and thank you for asking. 😉
Mar 14, 2014 @ 09:34:36
It has to be an inny or an outy, doesn’t it? Can’t be both!
It is something I want to look more into – and I don’t mean my belly-button.
Mar 14, 2014 @ 09:03:39
I did. Now I’m calling. So, Doc, what do you have to cure me? 😉
Mar 14, 2014 @ 09:02:59
I hope neither of us ever get to use those “little tricks” we learned! 😉
Mar 14, 2014 @ 09:01:16
I’ve never seen Downtown Abbey. I’m not much into period dramas. Is it like a high-brow soap opera? I loved MI-5 and I’m watching “Walking the Dead” right now. Inspector Morse, and some other detective series are so well-written with just hints of humor in some of them–those are the ones I like. How have you been feeling?
Mar 14, 2014 @ 08:57:36
You might want to try it–Buddhism is, unlike popular stereotypes, so much more than contemplating one’s belly-button. It’s quite a challenging and self-revealing enterprise–and I haven’t yet studied the ins or outs of my belly-button!! 😉
Mar 14, 2014 @ 08:55:01
If the measure of a good Buddhist is noticing when we flub up–I’m a GREAT Buddhist!!! 😉
Mar 14, 2014 @ 08:53:54
Such is the way with Buddhism–we’re on our own when getting unstuck in our sticky situations! 😉
Mar 14, 2014 @ 08:52:41
That’s what I’ve done–quality over quantity of swearing and blood! 😐
Mar 13, 2014 @ 08:37:55
I’ve been promising myself a Breaking Bad Binge now that I’ve gorged on Game of Thrones. What happened that TV suddenly transformed??? Maybe you Buddhists have been having your effect (never mind the violence, feel the quality) xx
Mar 13, 2014 @ 04:26:57
Don’t know the shows and know nothing about Buddhism.. so my fine friend you are going to have to solve this one yourself… and good luck with that..
Mar 12, 2014 @ 18:08:15
No you’re not a messed up Buddhist after all, at all. I guess the trick is to just be what we are and keep our fingers crossed we see the attachments. See the judgments float up when they do, and float away when they do. Hugs!
Mar 12, 2014 @ 16:56:56
Very entertaining!
I hope I never get hooked on those shows, because they might start creeping into my writing – and my latest has quite enough bits of mass-murder and mayhem per page already!
Alas, I have a far too boring belly-button to be a Buddhist.
Mar 12, 2014 @ 16:20:16
Never seen Breaking Bad, could not like Dexter at all. So will no judge either.. I prefer Arrow, Revolution, Rizzoli and Isles…maybe Buddhism isn’t so bad. I bet your BBC progs are Downton Abbey, poss’ Mr Selfridge. I love the way you get the pictures to match your words… 😉
Mar 12, 2014 @ 15:51:10
Ewww – I almost gagged at the peanut butter and bacon milkshake.
I recently did a Breaking Bad marathon. I found it interesting to watch how people’s mores changed (maybe adjusted is a better word) when some unexpected moment was thrown at them.
Thinking Walter was the upstanding person, and how he so quickly changed to a power-hungry Heizenberg — all so he could provide for his family after he dies (or so he says).
So are we judging or just being entertained or shocked by the reality of it all? I am with you – watching due to spectacular writing and acting. Plus I now know little tricks to “interrupt” a police surveillance and how to get rid dead bodies.
Mar 12, 2014 @ 15:19:09
Say eight “Ohms” and call me in the morning.