If there is one thing I’m not, it’s a procrastinator. A laggard. A dilly-dallier.

I take my responsibilities seriously. I get things done early, or, at the latest, on time.

If I haven’t attended to something, say blog award nominations just as a random example, it’s not because I’m procrastinating about writing a long over due acceptance post. ¡No, nie, nu, nicht, 没有, no way!

At least two-thirds of all people (including penguins and bloggers) procrastinate regularly. Of the one-third left, most of those procrastinate at least sometimes. That leaves me and a select few other OCD perfectionists to carry the burden of doing everything on schedule.

There are perfectly socially acceptable reasons why I have taken so long to, just as an example, acknowledge the generous bloggers who thought me deserving of  bloggidy-blog world awards. .

My list of perfectly socially acceptable reasons for delaying certain, ach-hem, things includes:

–I had butt surgery and ended up with complications of the I’ve-already-said-enough kind.

–Unlike some authors who release a book and have already pre-sold a million copies, I have to actually market my book.

–My writer’s mind got pregnant with another book just kicking inside me to be birthed.

–My computer locks me out after 8 hours of direct eye contact with the screen. It must be a virus or something.

So I’m not procrastinating, People.

Hey, I know a lot of procrastinators. Here’s the kind of things they say:

–“Something important came up, so I had to put that other thing off. It’s not my fault, man.” Procrastinators say “man” a lot. They also split their infinitives. The scoundrels!

–“Hey, man, I was totally going to do that thing, but I got this way better idea instead.” Tempting us with the notion of a better plan is so typical. And scuzzy. The scalawags!

–“I was meaning to do that thing, but my computer or car broke down on me, man.” Blaming inanimate objects is a common strategy among procrastinators. The objects can neither confirm nor deny the claims. The cowards!

You can see how very different I am from the typical procrastinator, can’t you? Well, you can, right?

No? You can’t tell the difference between me and all those procrastinators of the world?

Shizzle.

I have some serious self-reflection to do, which requires hours of meditation. I guess I won’t be getting to that blog award acceptance post (just as an example) any time soon. Hey, man, it’s not my fault. Hey, man, don’t judge me. I’m under a lot of pressure already, and now I have to deal with this procrastination thing. Well, maybe I don’t have to deal with it right now…