I’ve never been one to toot my own horn, mostly because I could never get any of those blow-hard instruments to make a sound that wouldn’t make dogs howl or send first responders looking for the wounded rodent.
But when you are an author, especially a first-timer, you have to put yourself out there.
I kind of thought I already did that in my memoir. I mean, did you read the thing? Even I was surprised by things I read in there.
But now I have to put my book out there. That’s not easy for me. Wanna know why? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. Because I’m shy when it comes to anything that seems like boasting or self-promoting. Yup. I’m shy. Oh, stop laughing.
The only way that I can post about all the good stuff being said about my book is because I believe that this memoir can do something that I can no longer do: make a positive difference in people’s lives because of my words told my way.
I used to feel as if I contributed in a tangible and affirmative way to society every day when I was a college professor. What I did mattered, so I mattered. That feeling vanished when I had to retire due to the dizzies (Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome). I felt like I vanished, too.

Um. No. Not like this. She looks very visible to me. I felt invisible in that, um, can’t see me kind of way.
I wrote this book the way I did so that I could, once again, hopefully impact people in that tangible, affirmative way–not through teaching, but through writing about my life challenges and how I chose not to be victimized by them. Maybe people reading my book:
* will be inspired to examine their lives with a new, more positive outlook
*might feel less alone as they face their personal challenges
* just laugh more, which is therapeutic in and of itself
* will be inspired to examine their lives with a new, more positive outlook
Then I will feel that what I I do now (write books) matters. so I still matter.
That’s why I can shove my self-promotion hang-ups aside and share these lovely things readers said about my memoir.
From our pal, Al: “How was I supposed to know this book would be so engrossing? In her wry, yet brutally honest appraisal of a life lived with enough harrowing obstacles for several lifetimes, Lorna takes her talent for humor and gift of expression to new heights. From unexpected hilarity in trying to stuff a down comforter or surviving an embarrassing moment in church, to the pathos of losing a devoted pet, to the soul-sapping years of illnesses and a difficult marriage, Lorna spares no details in telling her story. But her narrative of a long-hidden family tragedy will grip you above all. Get ready to use up your entire gamut of emotions.
From Sylvia, who has delightful several books of her own: “Lorna captures the turbulence of her life in a candid, no-holds-barred story that reads like a novel, except the heroine in this particular story is a real person complete with a myriad of human flaws as well as a multitude of strengths and attributes that make her unique. Lorna’s voice is witty, self-deprecating, wry and brutally honest, and she uses this wonderful tool to adeptly set the tone for the entire memoir. Throughout the entire book the author never pretends to be anything other than what she is–a human being with a compelling story to share with the world, and as a reader who hated for the book to end, I can attest to the fact that hers is a story worth reading.”
From Dr. Garcia-Notario, a professor teaching a class on childhood trauma and authenticity: “Lorna Lee’s memoir is compelling evidence which adds to the research on child trauma. It reminds us that child mourning is real, profound, and effecting. “How was I supposed to know?” is one of those books that you can’t put down, delightfully written, very funny and a great source of inspiration for teachers, social workers, psychologists and anybody brave enough to look back at his-her childhood and find ideas for self-healing.”
From Christoph, who conducted an interview with me a few weeks ago. Check it out. “This memoir is in parts sad and melancholic but it is also hugely inspirational and cathartic. Hit by actual lightning twice and by proverbial lightning all through her life Lorna Lee has to brave many storms before learning the lessons life has to teach her. I found the book beautifully written; emotional enough to make me feel her pain but also very witty, analytical and insightful, which makes it distinguishable from the rest. The narrative flows easily and each chapter is introduced with a appropriate picture, often with a great sense of irony. The honesty and the ability to rationalise and summarise her feelings and those of the people around her make this a very rich and educational read.”
From Paulette, whose amazing novel is a must-read, the all profits going to animal rescue: “Lorna Lee’s How Was I Supposed to Know is a remarkable read. There is so much talent in the writing and way the story of the author’s life is woven together that it was hard to put the book down. There were so many wonderful, poignant, heartbreaking, funny, delightful and sexy parts that take the reader into what it is to be human, without pretense; the raw open honest authentic facing of all that one is, is brilliantly expressed. We read her story and care; feel she is our sister, our mother, our Professor, our friend, our very own broken heart and soul as well as the phoenix from the ashes. Around the time when you think you know where everything is going, this woman’s story, her life, take twists and turns of one unexpected surprise after another, as good as any mystery read or love story. This is a love story at its core, the finding of and accepting of self and all that one goes through to gain that to a most wonderful unexpected ending and outcome. I fell in love with this story, with her dogs, cats, bird, self-reflection, raw open honest emotional communication that most dare to only think, yet never utter. It is the courage of the outpouring and leaving nothing unsaid that makes this a compelling read.”







Apr 09, 2013 @ 09:41:33
That was my hope, Victoria. While the trials may be different, we all face things in our lives that challenge us. If this book makes people ponder how they navigate their own rough waters, then I’ve done something important.
Apr 08, 2013 @ 19:42:35
Yes, I did miss this one. My Internet provider is screwing with me and I’m not getting feeds. I’m 60% of the way through…just spent an hour or more with you and little Alex…it is a compelling read and I find myself identifying with so many things in spite of very different outward circumstances.
Making My Own Kind of Music, Round 2 | Lorna's Voice
Apr 08, 2013 @ 16:20:11
Mar 30, 2013 @ 10:06:02
Your words and feelings are so important to me. That’s the reason I wrote the book! I felt in my heart that my experiences would connect with others’ experiences or that the feelings I had would resonate with others and somehow make a positive difference in their lives. I didn’t know quite how, but I just felt that this book had the potential to affect lives in magical ways. You are telling me that it did for you.
I tell people that this memoir really isn’t at all about me, and they don’t understand. I think maybe you do now. 😉
Thank you so much for your kind words of enthusiasm about the book. When it’s your first book, you never know, right?
As for reviews, if you could put up the same review on your blog, Amazon, Goodreads, and Smashwords, I think that would cover it. If you have a facebook account, maybe that would be a good place too. I’ve found myself to be a FB dolt. I can’t figure it out–a mental block or something.
Thanks so much for letting me know that this little book of mine is doing what I hoped it would do! You’re an angel!
Mar 29, 2013 @ 21:31:28
Lorna! I just finished your book. I sat on my couch last night for hours and then this morning again. Couldn’t put it down. What an achievement you’ve created! What a “completion” of the first part of your life! I really admire you for consistently completing what you set out to do and doing it to your utmost. Brava! There’s so much I’d like to discuss with you. I also plan on writing a review in the next week or two. Can you tell me where you’d prefer I published it? Or if more than one place, happy to publish it wildly.
It raised so much for me too about things I’d forgotten about my life, esp things about sex. And I can easily relate to your family relationships. I should tell you I’m Tina in my family (would you believe I’m a bit nervous about saying that?) and my sister is you. My sister became a university teacher as well! Between her and me and mum and our two younger brothers we had similar competitions for attention, similar alliances. And still do! 😉
Mar 29, 2013 @ 19:13:13
Believe it. In person I am quite shy. My fingers are quite sassy, though. They type the darndest things!
Mar 29, 2013 @ 19:12:00
Not much is up this week. Been working on my new book.
Mar 29, 2013 @ 13:21:39
You? Shy? I don’t believe that…
Mar 29, 2013 @ 13:20:29
Hey, Lorna! I was itching to get back to your site to see what’s up. You always have great stuff, dear…no kiddin’! Hope all is good.
Skip
Mar 29, 2013 @ 10:18:17
Who knew being a Crazy Chick would be so, well, wonderful?! 🙂
Mar 29, 2013 @ 02:14:39
Always for a fellow Crazy Chick 🙂
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:56:46
🙂 🙂
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:54:54
Thanks, Izzy! I have more, but I didn’t want the post to get too long. I’ll share the others maybe every couple of weeks or so…
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:53:50
Bless your heart, Soul Sister! 🙂 🙂
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:53:27
Thanks so much! I look forward to one day reading that “scathingly good” review. Sounds positively delicious! 🙂
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:51:47
Thank you so much, Peter. Your support means the world to me! 🙂
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:50:15
I felt shy too–still do. But, as I said in this post, my need to feel like I’m maybe doing something valuable for someone who maybe be struggling was more powerful than my insecurities about my writing. I know a bad review will come at some point and it will probably cancel out all my good reviews (in my mind) due to my insecurities, but I have to remember that I truly believe in this book and the reasons why I laid my life open.
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:46:58
You started if off with my first review, so YOU, Al, are da man! 🙂
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:46:07
There is a lot there. While I was writing, I kept asking myself, how the heck did I manage to pull off all this stuff I went through? It’s kind of like I was writing about another person–one of those athletes who runs and jumps hurdles. expect I trip over each hurdle and keep going for some crazy reason!
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:40:11
Oh, thanks, Casey. I know how busy you are. You’re an angel! 🙂
Mar 28, 2013 @ 11:39:35
Thanks . Elyse. I poured my heart and soul into that book.
Mar 28, 2013 @ 07:54:10
Ooh, I’m so late with my comments — I’ve been working late and had tons of visitors (this weekend too).
But I enjoyed the book. You tell a compelling story of struggles that are overcome. What more could we ask?
Mar 28, 2013 @ 05:34:36
Lorna,
Good for you putting yourself out there. Just posted a review.
Mar 27, 2013 @ 19:16:00
Fabulous reviews! I’m up to the part when you’re beginning to campaign at the LCC. There’s so much there. One of the parts I enjoyed the most in the last few days was when you got your PhD. Very moving what you wrote.
Mar 27, 2013 @ 12:06:57
Thanks. I thought I would share a few every now and then just to keep my book “out there” in the minds of people. I don’t want to be obnoxious about marketing my book, but I don’t want people to forget about it either…
Mar 27, 2013 @ 11:41:19
These are wonderful reviews, Ms. Lorna … congratulations
Mar 27, 2013 @ 08:46:21
You da man…er..uh…..woman!
Mar 27, 2013 @ 07:59:42
I feel shy about my writings,,, however I feel although, I like writing, my stuff I dont think it is that good hence my shyness,,, so I stick to song lyrics and poetry mostly,, even though I am doing a few stories,, as you know…but keep up your good work…:)
Mar 27, 2013 @ 05:26:59
I don’t think there is any shame in being shy about promoting yourself. It is a much nicer characteristic than boasting. It got me thinking about how I could help you in some way. You deserve recognition for all the hard work, and for laying yourself on the line as you have done. Never an easy thing to do. Among my other skills and attributes is a complete lack of understanding about marketing and networking in the modern or any other world, but I really admire what you’ve done and would love to help. I will press the FB page but that will only share it with a couple of cats and some relatives. Still, its a start.
Mar 27, 2013 @ 01:57:08
I expected no less than to read reviews of this nature… and one day when our finances easy up once again I will purchase this book, and it will then be my turn to write a scathingly good review..
Mar 27, 2013 @ 01:48:32
Shared it on FB 🙂 Congratulations!