
Well, they said Grandma went to a place where she would find peace. I know she found lots of pieces of good stuff in here. Maybe this is where she went.
Where do you go when you’re “gone?” Like in dead and gone?
Don’t you hate it when kids, especially yours, ask you this question? What do you tell them? I mean, does anyone really know for sure?
Since the original point of Halloween is to honor dead people, I thought it would be appropriate to offer you THE answer to this question so that you’re prepared for the next time the topic comes along. And you know it will because kids, old people and about 50% of the rest of the population seem to be missing that sensor in the brain that signals their mouths to close even though potentially inappropriate thoughts are forming.

So maybe I spent a little too much time talking about why I hate the women I’ve dated before and how you remind me so much of them. Can we start again? I think you’d look great as a blonde.
You may be wondering how do I, a mere but awesome mortal, know for sure where you go when you’re dead. Because I’ve been there.

O yes I have. You wanna look into this face and tell me otherwise? This is the look of conviction, People. As in “confidence,” not as in “found guilty.”
Prior to the experience I’m about to describe I was a recovering-Catholic agnostic who feared death because the notion of Hell was burned into my soul, which I wasn’t sure I had but wasn’t sure I didn’t have. Let’s just say I was confused, scared and didn’t deal with death particularly well.
Then I had to undergo emergency surgery to remove a fetus that planted itself in one of my Fallopian tubes. I went right from my doctor’s office to the ER to the OR. It was like a scene from ER, but without George Clooney.

You better haul your booties over to the that blonde whose Lady Parts (medical jargon) are about to kerslpode. Sheesh! You’ll do anything for Sweeps Week.
During my time in the OR, I had an experience. Now, I’ve had lots of surgeries and this is how they usually go:
- Pre-op preparation and signing your life away
- Drugs to calm you
- Count backwards from 100
- After 97 off to La La Land
- Wake up in Recovery Room feeling like crap
This time was different. Very different. I went somewhere. Or the part of me that makes me “me” went somewhere. I remember parts of it very clearly.
- I didn’t follow a white light or see people I knew who had “passed.”
- There were no forms (bodies) of any sort, but consciousness was everywhere, so I knew I wasn’t alone.
- I felt like I was above the earth but not like in the clouds–I was in a different dimension, but connected to earth.
- While there, I understood the meaning of everything: past, present, and future. Anything that ever confused me made perfect sense and seemed so simple. I remember thinking, “Why didn’t I understand this while I was alive? It’s so clear, so simple.”
- I was peaceful and so very content. Comfortable in a way I’ve never felt before.
- All of a sudden, three door appeared and I knew that these represented three major accomplishments I was required to do in my life. Two were wide open, meaning I had already accomplished them. Even though the last one was closed, I knew what it was and, again, I remember thinking how easy that would be to achieve. I wanted to open the door and walk through it but something stopped me.
- I was told by another conscious being that I wasn’t ready and had to return to complete the task while in my body. This saddened me. It was so lovely where I was. I didn’t want to leave.
- The moment that I had that thought, I was waking up in the recovery room and I felt wretched.
Through the grogginess of the anesthesia, I described all of it to my then-husband. I was afraid I would forget the details. My fears were unwarranted. Well, sort of. I vividly remember what I just told you. I don’t remember what I discovered that made life and it’s mysteries seem so clear. Nor do I remember the three major things I must achieve in this life. It figures, right?
I now have absolutely no fear of death. That disappeared immediately after the experience. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to court death, but I’m not fearful about when my time comes.
Did my soul travel to the place where souls go after they leave the body? I suppose I can’t say it did for sure because all I have is my experience and that’s not scientific evidence, it’s subjective and anecdotal. But it’s enough for me.






Nov 02, 2012 @ 12:37:21
Izzy, that’s the reason I shared it. I just knew other people must have this experience but were leery of sharing it. I’ve put so much of myself out there, I figured, “What the hey-ho.” If even just a few people relate, it’s worth the skeptics wondering if I’ve forgotten to take my meds. 😉
Nov 02, 2012 @ 09:28:36
Wonderful description of your experience, Lrona. I, too, have been to this place. I just didn’t know how to describe it without people thinking that I had lost some brain matter. I am happy with reading yours. I feel so much better that I went through it. Now I know that it was a gift for special people like you and me.
namaste ….
Nov 02, 2012 @ 08:53:56
Exactly the way I feel!
Nov 02, 2012 @ 03:53:00
Just reading that made me feel all peaceful! I sure hope it’s like that for me, I also hope that’s not for a long time yet…
Nov 01, 2012 @ 19:40:34
Great! Since I follow your blog, I should know when you do… 🙂
Nov 01, 2012 @ 18:34:08
Love the commitment, and that you honour it well.
I’m encouraged to write about my experience now. I’ll send you a link if I do. xx
Nov 01, 2012 @ 09:24:25
My Ex believed me. I was not a woman sure about much, but I was SO sure about this. I struggled to tell him as I was coming out of the grog of anesthesia–it was so important to me. Plus my attitude about death changed 180 degrees. Hard to argue with that.
As for ghosts, I have a theory. Anyone who dies a violent death has a soul who is confused. They need to make sense of what happened or may still feel the pull of earth energies keeping them around to complete whatever it was they were supposed to complete. Or they may not know where to go or how to get there. I’ve had experiences with confused or clinging spirits and know how to send them along. I know it sounds strange, but it is the compassionate thing to do. Unfortunately, people who have ghosts build attractions around them and want to keep them there. I liken it one of those carnival tents with odd attractions. I always felt badly for the “freaks” on display…
Nov 01, 2012 @ 09:12:54
The process of dying can be very difficult for the person dying and for loved ones. I want to go with grace and dignity–not malinger–for everyone’s sake. I won’t have any fears for myself; only sadness for those I leave behind. As for others leaving me, I “know” they will be going to a place so divine and lovely, but I will miss them, so I will be sad for me, delighted for them and try my best to ally they fears.
I’m not confident about much, but I am so sure about this. That’s why I chose to share it. 😉
Nov 01, 2012 @ 09:07:33
Given my experience, you won’t be! 😉
Nov 01, 2012 @ 09:06:39
Of course there are skeptics. The world needs skeptics as much as we need believers. Balance, you know? People who firmly believe in certain faith systems that don’t allow for such experiences had to explain this away with theories of hallucinations, dreams, etc.
But what they couldn’t explain away was:
1. That the time when you’re “out” during surgery is usually “lost” time–people don’t remember anything but what happens before the anesthesia and waking up after the surgery. Everything else is a blank. I had this whole story to tell.
2. My whole attitude about death did a 180 degree shift. I also admitted that there was some “Higher Power,” although the notion of a bearded old man keeping notes about me in a big book still didn’t wash with me. I went from fear of death to total calm and acceptance and from doubting God to being sure that some Higher Power existed (and I was close to that presence). I never wavered–for me that was unusual.
So people around me saw a real change. I didn’t share the experience with a lot of people, but my Ex believed me and he was staunchly Christian.
Nov 01, 2012 @ 08:54:07
Yes, spaciousness and endlessness. No boundaries because there were no bodies to limit my consciousness.
And, you’re right, it doesn’t matter that I don’t remember the details. I was given a glimpse into something so sublime that transformed my life. I know my life has purpose and my death is not the end.
I’ve wanted to write about this for a while. It’s part of my life’s experience and I’m committed to sharing my experiences so that others might find something of value in my experience–even if it is only to give them courage to share their experiences or know that they are not alone.
Nov 01, 2012 @ 08:48:51
Ah, the difference between the process of dying and what happens after death is HUGE. I, too, wish to exit quickly and with dignity. I believe that the place I go is the same place I came from. And it is such a welcoming, tranquil place. I’m amazed we ever take the leap and come back. Yes, I believe we make lots of return trips…
Nov 01, 2012 @ 08:44:00
All I know is what I experienced and how it transformed my life and my calmness toward death. It was transformational. If it was a hallucination, it was one I wish that everyone could have because it created such tranquility in a world so full of fear.
Nov 01, 2012 @ 08:40:16
I am glad you had that happy experience (not the op). And I am even gladder that you made it back to tell us. I myself have never had the slightest illusion of exactly where we are going AFTER we have died. No, not to heaven, not to hell. Nowhere, that’s where.
Has it occurred to you, and that is what makes your experience so extraordinary, that during the PROCESS of dying (literally at death’s door, one foot in – one foot out) we are in a transitional phase between losing consciousness and the actual physical ‘end’ when the curtain finally falls. Being eased into death as it were.
U
Nov 01, 2012 @ 01:58:55
As you can tell, I’m reading this the day AFTER Halloween. Very interesting story account. My husband thinks he had an “experience” during a very long and complicate surgery where he did in that “die” on the table.
Nov 01, 2012 @ 00:30:21
Lorna.. I’m confused.. where do we go? isn’t it where we came from.??
Death is just a reality of life that all will experience at some stage.. boy I just hope I’ve been doing things right to end up where I want to go… and where is that you ask? Don’t know…. but at some stage I will find out and I hope not be disappointed… am I scared of it.?? No… I just hope when I go it’s fast and not a slow suffering…
Oct 31, 2012 @ 23:30:22
Love that you’ve written about this experience, Lorna. I’ve had two experiences like this, and I haven’t yet found the wherewithall to write about them. I would use the same words you’ve used such as peace and simple. Also had extraordinary sense of spaciousness and endlessness.
From your story I get it doesn’t matter if you don’t remember what the three things were or why it was all clear; what matters is you experienced it.
Oct 31, 2012 @ 21:35:37
That is a pretty remarkable tale. I’m sure there will be those who might say it was a dream, or a vision, perhaps the anesthesia playing tricks on the mind, but what do any of us really know. All we have is the perspective from within our own bodies, and this definitely sounds like an out of body experience of sorts. It obviously had a profound effect on you. How did others around you react to your animated recounting of what you had experienced?
Oct 31, 2012 @ 21:26:12
I’m definitely with Woody Allen on this one. As he so eloquently put it: “I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
Oct 31, 2012 @ 19:43:01
I don’t know what happens after you die. I’m not a very spiritual or philosophical person, but I think that whatever it is I too will be ready (but not over anxious). I am watching my mother-in-law progress that way, confidently, without fear. It is ennobling.
Oct 31, 2012 @ 18:06:08
Lorna, you’d written me about this experience last year after I posted Pennies from Heaven. Thanks for sharing it on your blog. It takes courage to voice something that flies in the face of most religions.
Last Sunday, my husband and I visited the property in Northern Virginia where he & his family spent summers and weekends and we learned that the current owners have also seen the Civil War soldier wandering the house and woods that our son has seen. So how does this wandering soldier fit into the scheme of life and afterlife? It’s confusing, but I don’t think we’re meant to understand how all this works until our time comes. Just live the best life you can and let the Universe take care of the rest.
Out of curiosity–what did your ex-husband think about it?
Oct 31, 2012 @ 16:29:32
You’re welcome. Been meaning to get this story off my chest for a while. Thought Halloween would be a good time. But my cable was out for most of the day, so I had to post late. It figures!
Oct 31, 2012 @ 16:12:48
Yes!!! Thanks for sharing this, Lorna.