Listen up, Kiddo. You’ve got some important decisions to make. So read what this little Missy Lorna has to say.

Are you just itching to cast your ballot in the 2012 Presidential Elections NOW so you can avoid all those snarky…misleading…patriotic campaign ads and the moment by moment developments from political “experts” who are really just “news personalities” with enough moxie and make-up to get their own cable news show?

Yes, let’s discuss the latest Gallop Pole. Oh, I meant Gallup Poll. I must be distracted by that lavender tie you’re wearing. You really should think more carefully about your wardrobe and how it’s going to reflect on us as professional news anchors.

Too bad.

Like the me, you’re going to have to wait until the bitter winds of the debate analyses…October are over and the voting machines are ready to fail in November for you to vote for our next clueless…fearless leader.

To take the edge off your voting trigger finger, I’m here to make a totally self-serving…public announcement. You’re welcome!

Remember Katy’s Seven Deadly Sins Contest Series? [Say “Yes!”]

Remember that I, along with many awesome writers, submitted an entry on “Envy“? [Say “Of course! How could I forget? The haunting words still nibble at my psyche during boring work meetings, when I’m at uncomfortable family meals–and most of them are–and in some odd dreams I’d love to talk with you about in private some time soon.”]

I just can’t get her words off my mind.

Well, FIVE finalists have been chosen among the many entries and my entry, Behind the Mask, was one of them! [Say “No freaking way!” Oh, that was me saying that. You can say whatever you like. Again, you’re welcome.]

As in all contests, one winner must emerge. This is where your voting trigger finger comes in–you knew I would eventually get around to it, didn’t you? Simply click here and you will be whisked away to Katy’s blog where you can read each of the five swankalicious, badonkadonk 600-word Envy essays.

Trust me Katy’s contest isn’t rigged. Little known behind the scenes fact: each woman aspires to be a writer and strives to create world peace through a well-thought-out three-point plan: exposing cleavage, tanning, and impossibly narrow waists/hip/boob ratios. It’s a long shot, and been tried before, but this might the year.

Looks like you can vote once a day until Tuesday, June 12. If that isn’t democracy for you, I don’t know what is. (Okay, so I don’t know what democracy is, so take away my right to bear arms–just don’t take away my right arm. I’ve grown quite attached to it even though as a Buddhist I know I’m supposed to let go of my attachments. Am I rambling?)

To summarize:

You have to wait until November to vote for only two, maybe three, guys for the President of the US and endure endless commercials and analysis. Plus, you kind of have to be American, which is typical of us Americans, isn’t it?

You can vote right now and as many times as you like for whoever you like, and this is the only promotion you’ll get from me. Any analysis is strictly up to you. And this contest is open to everyone. Such a deal!

Okay, this looks like a better deal, but looks can be deceiving. Still…maybe you can go vote then check this deal out. That’s what I plan to do.