Consider yourself notified.

NOTE:  This post may…

…Challenge your fixed notions of space, time, and the meaning of life;

…Shake your nerves and rattle your brain;

…Make you want to break into a song and dance routine a la any cast member from “Glee.”

Last week, I had almost 60 spam messages in my Spam-alot WordPress box. Today, I only had 27. Isn’t spam supposed to stay and grow like mold, fungus, or adult children with graduate degrees who can’t find jobs?

The facts are staring at you right in the face.

I didn’t delete any of these spam messages. Quite the contrary. I planned to write a witty post based on them. Trust me, it was going to be Tony-the Tiger Grrr-eat! But now, over half of them have vanished—something spam, as far as I understand it, is not programmed to do.

So what happened to my spam? (I fully appreciate the irony of that statement coming from a vegan and 54-year-old woman who has no interest in extending anyone’s erection into the “several hour” range).

Here are my guesses:

  1. WordPress has, once again, changed things up without telling us and has hired a Spam Cleaning Crew who just vacuum, dust, and sweep these messages under some magic cyber carpet.

    Don't look at me. I'm a temp. Kind of like your spam.

  2. My account, which has been possessed from the start, is showing signs of poltergeist activity. First the ghosties were blocking notices from my email, now they are zapping my spam. What’s next? Writing posts for me. I just hope they’re as good or better than my regular stuff, in which case, I’ll take full credit.

    Hey, Ghoul in my Hard Drive, I don't want any swearing if you're going to start posting things under my name.

  3. The Mayans were correct and as 12/21/12 approaches, time is compressing and the world as we know it will change forever. Hell will freeze over, donkeys will fly, beggars will be choosers, and spam will vanish as randomly as it appears.

Have any of you noticed anything similar in your Spam-alot WordPress boxes? If so, at least I can rule out #2 from above. Or maybe you, too, have a ghost…it’s all very confusing. But so is Spam.

Just so you know, I’ve gotten a preponderance of spam messages from sites extremely concerned about helping me save my marriage, but believe my “articles” have “great information” and “are very useful.” Too little, too late, and you don’t want me giving anyone marriage counseling advice.

See? I'm a bit too sassy for marriage counseling. Then again...

I haven’t checked today. Those messages may be gone. Cue Twilight Zone music…