Let’s see if Lorna is really cured…
My Miracle Cure lasted as long as the typical Mayfly, or Jinx Fly (as it is aptly called): 2 days. Chuck kept checking with me. “Are you dizzy yet?” I kept spinning around like an ice skater practicing her finale. “Nope!” On the third day, I woke up to that old familiar “bed-spin” feeling. It was faint, but there. As the day progressed, so did the volume on the dizzy-dial. My Miracle had expired.
I called Dr. M. He explained that, with CFIDS, symptoms are unpredictable. I guess disappearing symptoms are equally squirrely. I didn’t wait for Chuck to call in for his Daily Dizzy Report; I called him and told him I was back to normal abnormal. He expressed proper disappointment for me, even avoiding an understandable “I told you so.” I appreciated his sympathy. Since it was Friday and we usually went out to dinner, he offered to take me out to a condolence dinner. I accepted.
He was very upbeat during the evening. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to cheer me up or if he couldn’t contain his own elation that life between us had resumed its old rhythm. Either way, he was happy and I was dizzy. It was as if the last two days never happened. But they did.

Why so glum, Lil Lady? It ain't like you never done played a dizzy blonde before. I kinda like you this way.
My Expired Miracle highlighted two undeniable facts:
- My husband was keen on his dizzy blonde wife. Since I was committed to our marriage and loved him, I decided we were together to learn valuable life lessons from each other. I had to learn compassion, forgiveness, and the joys of abstinence. His lessons were a mystery to me, which suggested I needed to work on understanding, too.
- I made a Real Deal with Someone powerful Up There. Taking it back wasn’t an option.
As if to poke a finger in an already sore eye, the Someone Up There started dropping hints as subtle as the H-Bomb that I wasn’t keeping up my end of The Deal. I was supposed to surround myself with only positive influences and get rid of all negative elements in my life; in return, I would find wellness. I got my taste of wellness. Now it was up to me to do some personal life “housecleaning.”
Later in the summer of 2008, Reggie, my beloved Cockatoo, died of some genetic nerve disease in his throat. He couldn’t swallow, which meant he couldn’t drink or eat. I did what I could for him until the day we had him put down at the very premature age of 4. His last words to me were a very weak, “Reggie…go…night…night.” I held him, rocked him and sang to him all the way to the vet’s office. Reggie was a bright light in my life, but he was also an incredible amount of work. Think of having a toddler hyped on sugar all day who pooped anywhere he wanted, and that was Reggie He complicated my life and I loved him for it. Without Reggie, life was lonelier and less interesting, but my back thanked me (no more bending over and cleaning up the cage) and several hours each day were freed up to pursue other hobbies, like writing or volunteering.
Every year Chuck’s staff gave us a gift certificate to a spa or resort for our Christmas gift. That year, the gift was for a weekend at a Vermont B&B. Since mid-September was close to our real 25th anniversary, I checked with Chuck to make sure his calendar was clear before I made reservations. My mistake was expecting that he wanted to spend a weekend away with me. Since he wanted to leave Thursday and come back on Saturday, he conducted a lot of business on our get-a-away. I wanted to throw his Blackberry in the toilet. I dressed up really nice for dinner, but he barely noticed. I was snapping pictures and asking staff to take pictures of us, but I had to ask him to take a picture of me. The dinner was very nice, but he spent more time talking with the wait staff than me.
We left a day early because he forgot he had a choral performance at some war reenactment celebration on Friday evening back at home. (In our area, war reenactments are so popular that the cannons are always loaded for when some bunch of rag-tag uniformed men get a hankering to pretend-fight.) He didn’t ask, but I offered to attend his performance, knowing how bloody important it was to him. Since many festive-war events were planned, I offered to drive separately so he could enjoy the whole shebang while I went home apre-performance. He insisted we drive together, then got angry when I wanted to leave early.

Snark Warning! It's not like he was one of the Three Flipping Tenors, although maybe there were only 3 tenors in the group...
The rest of the weekend was uneventful. He went his way and I had a several-day migraine.
How would Lorna reconcile her commitment to Chuck with her Real Deal?









Nov 22, 2011 @ 07:23:23
Very true!
Nov 22, 2011 @ 05:51:54
True. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to experience a multitude of emotions in one sitting. Maybe not every day, especially if they’re all really strong, but regularly. Keeps us on our toes ;).
Nov 08, 2011 @ 09:47:21
Assumptions and expectations ALWAYS get us into trouble, don’t they? 😉
Nov 07, 2011 @ 23:11:43
Soooo sad – Lil Reggie died way too soon. Your one consolation is that he gave you many hours of joy. So Soorry …!!!
Your weekend get-a-way was somehow an odd after thought for Chuck. Perhaps, a no – I can’t make it due to work would have been kinder.
We sure can’t assume others will be as aware of our feelings as we are of theirs.
Onward …
Izzy
Nov 07, 2011 @ 15:22:51
That big bird broke off a chunk of my heart. Good thing my heart is big!
Nov 07, 2011 @ 14:57:41
Reggie’s last words were so touching–poor thing–so sorry you lost your good friend so soon.
Nov 02, 2011 @ 16:39:38
I agree with you about using “bird brain” as an insult–it should be a compliment!
Nov 02, 2011 @ 16:20:11
“Bird brain” was definitely coined by a person who had no experience with the companionship of birds. Loved the photo of Reggie and you!
Nov 02, 2011 @ 13:06:45
Well, if my life is a roller coaster, it’s only fitting that my story is one, too, right? 😉
Nov 02, 2011 @ 07:14:34
Ok. So I laughed uproariously when I read that Dianna caption. Oh my goodness. Then I almost cried when I read Reggie’s last words :(.
Nov 02, 2011 @ 06:49:19
Yes I do. And the way I do is is as full of surprises as the rest of this story. Hang on to your hat!
Nov 01, 2011 @ 21:29:16
Sniff, sniff for Reggie. As for “he who shall not be named,” my ex was kind of like that too. Oblivious to anything else except his own needs, desires, wants. I feel an ending coming on soon. Besides, you have to keep up your end of the deal.
Nov 01, 2011 @ 17:21:11
Mine too, Tilly. Mine too. I cried when I wrote that section.
Nov 01, 2011 @ 17:20:32
Yes, I laughed when I saw that. Where was the copy editor that night? 😉
Nov 01, 2011 @ 16:28:14
BTW, is that Diana headline not the most stupid and most redundant you’ve ever read? I think they’ll find that everyone who ever lived was alive hours before they died.
Nov 01, 2011 @ 16:26:55
Your bird’s last words broke my heart.
Nov 01, 2011 @ 14:46:11
Yes, I was so grateful for the reprieve–kinda like a furlough from prison! 😉
Nov 01, 2011 @ 14:44:47
It is very difficult to tell this part of the story, mostly because it’s in the not-so-distant past. I was working very hard, as you will see, on mending a relationship that wasn’t there anymore. I think Chuck gave up on “us” when I befriended my illness. He just couldn’t understand that. He took that as a sign we’d gone down two different paths–his was one filled with the external busy world, and mine was one of internal creative and spiritual exploration. He didn’t want any part of my world and I couldn’t take being in his world for too long before I got exhausted. But I gave it the old college try (again, as you shall see).
I suppose this memoir is going to be good lesson in how not to be married if you want to stay married! 😉
Nov 01, 2011 @ 14:44:34
Pets are family. It’s never easy. Love your brave smile, just want to hug you sitting in that chair, so cute you are. (could ya feel me pinchin’ yer cheeks lol lol)
Am with you in spirit on your trip to Vermont. Been to Vermont a few times but never set foot in the place yet. Your Avatar is awesome so you have one beautifully shining memento that, indeed, you were there and can write about your experience however you want to. So glad you share here with all of us. Learning as I go from watching you walk so tall. 🙂
Nov 01, 2011 @ 14:34:01
I’ve had pets most of my life–more than one, in fact. But Scrappy is going to be my last. He’s a pretty great guy to be my last puppy-love. 😉
Nov 01, 2011 @ 14:32:46
I’ve never grieved so much or so long for one of my pets. I cried when I wrote that section. I still miss him, though I smile when I think of his silliness. I sure have a new respect and love for birds, though I’d never get another one!
Nov 01, 2011 @ 13:59:00
It was a very tough time. And I didn’t know it then, but it was going to get even worse… Keep reading… 😉
Nov 01, 2011 @ 13:51:02
What a sadness — your own disappointments and then losing a friend. I can’t believe you stayed so positive through it.
Nov 01, 2011 @ 13:13:50
I’m constantly surprised by the things we have in common–some of which I wouldn’t wish on anyone. The dizziness is tough. I’ve gone through 2 rounds of vestibular therapy with some improvement, had tubes in my ears, avoid flying as much as possible and tend to walk with my feet slightly apart to maintain my balance.
I still have my Nanday Conure, Herbie, and he is a royal pain in the butt. I also can’t imagine what it would be without him. I know how difficult it must have been to lose Reggie.
Nov 01, 2011 @ 11:47:16
We’re in constant flux — here’s hoping that the dizziness takes a sabbatical. Like Totsy, I’m not a pet lover but I have grown attached to animals in the past. I owned a cat that I truly adored and I was devastated when he “passed.”
Nov 01, 2011 @ 08:19:01
I can sense a gathering of all the elements of a looming storm of emotional difficulties, one by one, slowly building in force and swirling around. I can feel the foreboding building in your words and in my reactions to them.
I feel for you with regard to Reggie.
The Vermont B&B trip reveals a very familiar problem with mature marriages – simply taking a loving relationship for granted and not bothering to cultivate it any more, assuming it will always be healthy and growing. As a result, the energy (kind of like fertilizer) seems to be spent on cultivating other relationships, like his business dealings on that BlackBerry, and the war re-enactment activities, all at the expense of cultivating the Chuck and Lorna relationship. It is getting clearer that the two of you were drifting apart, though from how you are telling it, not from your volition and actions.
This has to be difficult for you to write about.
Nov 01, 2011 @ 07:23:51
Well, even if the dizzy spell came back, two days without it was better than none. Sorry about Little Reg. Losing him so soon couldn’t have been easy. Although I don’t claim to be a pet person, I always find myself getting somewhat attach to the critters my son manages to manipulate me into bringing home. Cute photo of you and Reg.