Just before brain surgery on his blonde patient, Dr. McCoy of the Star Ship Enterprise says to his assistant, “Space, the final frontier…
Unlike the Scarecrow, I knew I had a brain. I saw pictures of it on multiple MRI scan and felt it bouncing around every waking minute. I also knew I was lacking in the common sense department, but that me uncommon, not dumb. None of the Dumb Blonde joke applied to me, except “temporarily speechless” is what you mean by “dumb.” I was that Dumb Blonde a lot in my life, but especially during the weeks that led up to my brain surgery.
I had lobbied strenuously for another full-time sociologist at the college for years, since I was the only one. Most sociology classes were taught by part-time faculty who didn’t have advanced degrees in sociology, but in “related” fields. It was hard enough for trained sociologists to teach the discipline well, let alone people who avoided it as their major. While I was planning my funeral arranging for service-dog training worrying about my future, my “colleagues” hired a non-sociologist sociologist without my approval. I was a Dumb Blonde when I found out they did something so integral to my professional work and standards—even more so when I learned their maneuvering was unprecedented and irreversible. They said they knew I had a lot on my mind and didn’t want to bother me with another decision. How kindly paternalistic of this mostly female division.

Everyone knows sociology is just common sense and anyone can teach it, so we just decided that one of us is as qualified as you. Don't we look like we all have a lot of common sense and social skills?
The next Dumb Blonde moment was quite ironic. I was sitting in my hairdresser’s chair watching her shave all my blonde hair off. One of the pre-op instructions was to shave the left side of my head. Did people really shave only half of their head? I was in my late 40s and not looking to make any social, political, or personal statements with my appearance. I knew I didn’t have the charisma to start a fashion trend, so I decided no hair was better than half-hair. My hair was a bit longer than it is now. As I watched each blonde clump fall to the floor, my Dumbness got deeper. My hairdresser kept chatting about how fast it would grow back and others in the shop kept silent, their glances brief, but frequent. I pasted a thin smile on my oval head, hugged her, and left. She didn’t charge me. When I got into my car and locked the doors, I sobbed for ten minutes. Never underestimate how attached a woman can get to her hair.
Chuck and Alex kept the vehicle alive with conversation during the trip to Boston. When they talked, I rarely got a word in on my best days, but I was grateful to be silent on that trip. Being a Dumb Blonde was okay be me. Since we arrived the night before the surgery, we went out for a meal. I referred to it as “The Last Supper.” No matter what the outcome of the surgery, I was never going to be the same again. That night, I said “goodbye” to Alex like it was really good-bye. He wouldn’t see me until after surgery and I didn’t know if there would be an “after surgery” or what condition I’d be in. I tried to talk Chuck into taking me back home. I didn’t want anyone messing with my brain that served me so well. We held each other and cried like babies. But we stayed.
I was Stepford Wife Dumb Blonde the entire time I was being prepared for surgery. The only sign that I had any emotion at all was that I couldn’t stop shaking. No matter how many layers of blankets they put on me, I trembled like I was having a 8.9 earthquake inside me. I really hoped my body would stop shaking with the knock-out drugs, either that, or this neurosurgeon had really good aim.

Uh oh. See. I knew I'd never be the same. Blondes, not brunettes have more fun. Does she look like she's having fun?
Rolling me into the surgical theater was surreal. I could see eager students in the glassed-in area above drooling to see my head drilled. I watched as they attached all manner of sticky things to monitor all manner of important things. Then I heard someone rev up a chainsaw drill. I nearly jumped off the metal table and had such tremors that my rat-a-tat-tat of bone on metal drowned out the zzzzuuuunnnn-zzzzuuuunnnn of the drill. Mercifully, the anesthesiologist did his thing and I was gone in a matter of seconds.

Don't worry, Larry, oh, um, sorry, wrong patient---Lorna. I'm going to just check my state-of-the-art brain-o-meter thingy one more time before someone checks my make-up and I drill into that skull of yours. I'm the best in the business when it comes to following the script and operating power tools.
What did they find in that brain that has served Lorna so well?







Nov 03, 2011 @ 09:07:07
Yes, that’s the real story in all of this–I’m here to tell all of it!
Nov 03, 2011 @ 07:26:06
You put a little lift to an enormously difficult surgery story. Indeed, there is always that Last Supper before surgery. I can relate and do feel many people do that. The final Good-Bye, as well. You have to have the experience to relate. I do.
The hair ….??? It is one traumatic subject … Isn’t it ????
Good job , Lorna … glad it went well and you’re here to tell us.
Namaste,
Izzy
Oct 25, 2011 @ 06:33:07
I remember. And remember how I cried? I cried at everything because of the crazy meds I was on! Thank goodness you guys were there.
Oct 24, 2011 @ 20:51:34
It was certainly a very scary procedure. We never once thought we would lose you. Mom, Lisa and I had to give you your angel bear.
Oct 24, 2011 @ 19:46:09
A woman and her hair–never get between them, right? 😉
Oct 24, 2011 @ 14:15:12
I’ve never had to face brain surgery, but I did lose 95% of my hair due to an illness when I was 20. I wouldn’t let anyone cut off the remaining 5% even though I wore a wig for a year. It was devastating. To face this plus brain surgery–Yikes!
Oct 24, 2011 @ 08:52:44
🙂
Oct 24, 2011 @ 04:17:00
I don’t do revenge; but I’m tempted in this case. 🙂
Thanks for the explanation.
Oct 23, 2011 @ 16:27:53
I was real close to driving back home. But, Good Girl me always follows the rules… Just once, I wished I could be a rebel WITH a cause! Well, maybe that’s what this blog is all about, eh? 😉
Oct 23, 2011 @ 16:26:31
At some point, you just have to step outside of yourself and watch. Otherwise, I think you’d go bonkers. I was that scared.
Oct 23, 2011 @ 16:25:29
Oh, Molly. Those were tough times, and these are difficult stories to write. But I’m writing them anyway. They just need to come out. I’m so grateful that readers like you are finding value in what I’m doing.
Oct 23, 2011 @ 16:23:15
You are a kind and perceptive man, Androgoth. Thanks for reading and taking the time to compose such a thoughtful, supportive, and down-right sweet comment. I’m flattered, my friend,
Oct 23, 2011 @ 16:20:12
Hold on, it gets less scary (at least for a while)! 😉
Oct 23, 2011 @ 16:18:28
Every response from you, Al feels like a virtual hug–whether it’s a clever quip or an “atta girl!” Thanks so much for supporting and encouraging me to keep telling this story even when the story is tough to tell. You’re a real sweetheart. (I hope I’m not tarnishing your reputation. 😉 )
Oct 23, 2011 @ 16:15:06
There is no greater compliment a writer can get than hearing that a reader wants more. That’s not stalking, that’s encouraging! Thanks for telling me. And more you will get… 🙂
Oct 23, 2011 @ 00:19:33
I remember uncontrollably shaking on the table before they took my second son by C-section, and of course, there was nothing really to be shaking about. Not like brain surgery! You and your story are amazing. The more I learn about you the more I want to learn.
(I hope that didn’t sound stalk…ish)
Anyhoooo, WOW. Thank you for sharing.
Oct 22, 2011 @ 22:50:35
This is an incredible recounting of an experience we all dread. I know you said you had some moments when you were weak but all-in-all this was heroic on your part. Amazing ordeal.
Considered yourself virtually hugged!
Oct 22, 2011 @ 22:16:09
You’ve got me shaking too
Oct 22, 2011 @ 20:04:08
You know I can see you joking around and making light of everything in these postings Lorna and that tells me what a rather courageous young lass you are, I know that major surgery is something that literally scares the pants off peeps and the not knowing of the outcome of said surgery is a horror in itself, but I see a very strong young woman here that has coped very well, okay you had the multiple shakes and was scared to death but beyond the obvious you have come through remarkably well, and are now telling us your story with such a wonderful balance of the fearfulness, anxiousness and the delightful calming that followed, calming in the sense that you survived it and have built up your strength post operation to tell us your story, and in such a jovial fashion that I rather admire…
Have a lovely rest of weekend Lorna 🙂
Androgoth XXx
Oct 22, 2011 @ 17:35:54
I’m reading reading reading, all your posts Lorna and am gobsmacked (cockney version for dumb) – the parting from Alex and Chuck, trauma all around, but you survived and prospered with humour in tact – fanbloodytastic! cheers catchul8r molly
Oct 22, 2011 @ 17:05:23
Shaking and all, you were brave. And really, how else can one confront such a procedure but to develop a Stepford wife personality? It would numb me, for sure.
Oct 22, 2011 @ 16:18:11
I’m not sure how I would muster the courage to suit up and show up. I know I would, but I cannot imagine…
Oct 22, 2011 @ 16:03:14
I think when they are fiddling with certain parts of the brain, they have you conscious, but my tumor was more on the surface and they didn’t think it removing it and the “margins” around it would cause any problems with my ability to function normally. Either that or they had to knock me out because I was a moving target due to my tremors.
Sorry that you got miffed. I could send some big ex-military types after them to rough them up. They’d never suspect anything because it’s been so long…;)
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:58:27
Thanks, Harry. You’re right, no one can shut me up now, so I’m not that kind of dumb blonde and I never was the other kind. 😉
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:56:51
It’s not so bad, Phil–being a blonde, that is. It’s true, we have way more fun! 😉
Are you telling me I’m writing a real page-turner? Dan Brown, move over, Lorna is the new kid in town! Don’t I wish…
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:54:28
There are probably more “Last Suppers” than we know. And I thought I was being original. 😉 I’m glad to know I wasn’t. Kidney transplant, eh? I hope all went well…
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:52:00
Yes, and the funny things is I went into to teaching because I thought the business world was too cut-throat! Ha! Irony runs throughout my life… 🙂
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:50:42
I didn’t handle it so well myself. Thanks for sharing your experiences. That’s what I love about this great blogging community–we’re in it together! 🙂
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:42:10
Thanks so much for your kind words. I really appreciate the encouragement and hope that you keep reading. My plan is to turn this into a book. The “bones” of it is unfolding here in my blog.
I’m going to pop over to your site and see what you’re up to. 😉
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:39:26
I never shook so much in my life. I couldn’t stop. Just never expected my body to take over like that…
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:15:45
I’m sure I would have been shaking uncontrollably too–it takes a lot less than the fear of brain surgery to make me tremble. Bless your sweet, brave heart…
Oct 22, 2011 @ 15:11:03
You are blessed with a beautiful voice that shines. You brought all of us readers into your life with such clarity that I could hear the drill and see the students jostling to watch. I hope that all is well now, you should write a book. You really have a gift with your writing.
Oct 22, 2011 @ 14:55:14
Oh my. I think I would have had the same reactions. I am uber attached to my hair, I would never want to shave it. No matter how fast it grows (and it does grow fast as other always tell me) it would never grow fast enough. I’ve never had actual surgery, but when I broke my nose I didn’t get it ‘broken’ back right then and there. I don’t know if it was because I was so terrified or if it was because the clinic was basically closed, or if it was because of the way it was broken, but it was decided that two weeks later I would go to the hospital, they would put me under and break it back.
They couldn’t find a vein. The wrapped me and my arm in warm blankets. Still no dice. Finally when I was actually in the room the anesthesiologist (or whoever he was) found it and said something along the lines of ‘that was lucky’. Yeah, not making me feel better. Then I remember waking up in the brightest, whitest room I’d ever been in. Ouch.
I really don’t think I would handle brain surgery that well. I’d be totally freaking out. :S
Oct 22, 2011 @ 14:36:11
You’re a brave blonde!
Politics in academia would put politicians to shame.
Oct 22, 2011 @ 13:03:21
The night before my kidney transplant we went for dinner in San Francisco (with my donor and her family.) I was too sick to enjoy it and had to go for a final dialysis right after. We called it the Last Supper, too.
You are so good at writing this stuff with just enough humor to make it palatable.
Oct 22, 2011 @ 10:16:23
The drama at the college is maddening, but the drama unfolding in front of you with regard to the surgery is riveting. I know I cannot imagine exactly how you were feeling as events were stepping toward that moment, but you have managed to capture and give me a small taste of it nonetheless with your words. It is very much an unsettling, uncomfortable feeling that just won’t go away, and it is mixed in with confusing emotions of uncertainty and trepidation with regard to… well… everything (family, job, pet, hair).
See? You’ve made a blond out of me just the way you’ve written this account. Well done Lorna.
Oct 22, 2011 @ 09:34:04
Your far from a dumb blonde Lorna, your a brave dumb blonde 😆
Its so brave of you to go through that torment, i would not like to hear them drilling and tapping my head.
I have watched operations when the person was awake, why would they do such a thing, keep well, look after the grey matter 🙂
Oct 22, 2011 @ 05:50:38
See what you’ve done to me? I am so invested in your tale that I felt actual rage on your behalf when I read about what your colleagues did.
Something surprised me: I thought you had to be awake for brain surgery, to test functions, etc. All those hospital dramas can’t be wrong 🙂