Teenaged Lorna is in a pickle, or is she just pickled? Let’s see what’s in store for her…

I certainly don't remember things ever getting this bad...but my memory is a bit fuzzy on some details.
When I wasn’t drinking, I was craving. Nowadays, I would be diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Back then, I just had quirky habits. Okay. Maybe I was weird. You be the judge.

Well, I am not! Obsessive, that is. Just because I had certain standards and routines that must be upheld or the world would end, it didn't mean that I belonged in therapy.
- I needed to be perfect. My homework was fit to be framed. I knew all the answers in class and I knew my teachers knew it. I was quick-witted, getting laughs from people who might otherwise snub an insufferable perfectionist. You get the picture. Being perfect is hard work if you’re perfect; if you’re not, you take a heaping dollop of [insert favorite drug] to ease the burden. At least I did.
- I was the girlfriend of a popular athlete, so I needed to be the best, most attractive girlfriend I could be. I lost weight and kept my curves in all the right places. If I knew how I managed that, I’d be a rich woman cruising the Infomercial circuit. I was sexy jail-bait, loving the attention but not the consequences. Drinking made it easier to be easy.
- I craved carbs as a birthright. Not knowing that alcohol metabolized into simple sugar, I was a sitting duck for the stuff. When I wasn’t drinking, I was eating anything sugary or that would quickly convert to sugar: saltine crackers by the fist-full with a chaser of Pepsi, Bazooka Bubble gum (chewed only until the sugar was gone and then replaced), Fiddle-Faddle (served in boxes way too small), and what I called “Pink Things” (wintergreen mint candies that were pink and more sweet than minty). I’d eat a bag a day. Mom would’ve saved a lot on her grocery bill if she’d just bought a gallon of cheap vodka a week for her “Good” middle child.
I kept my sexy figure by walking, mowing the lawn, riding my bike and dancing. My sisters and I were legendary in our little rural town for our uncanny rhythm. We should have been Solid Gold Dancers. Dancing to a loud rock band–even a really bad one, which was the only kind available in our area–was freedom for me. I could have fun in public without my alcohol crutch.

Yup! That's us! Only my sisters are the same race, we wore less skimpy outfits because we weren't quite that fit, and would've broken our legs with boots like that. Otherwise, I'd swear this is a picture of us after "Jumpin' Jack Flash" just got butchered by the band.
I’d wear hip-hugger jeans and a tube top (don’t laugh, that was the fashion back then), and shake my sober booty with my sisters. Not even my boyfriend would dare dance when the “Earl Girls” were doing their Solid Gold routine on the gym floor.
The drinking came later in the evening, when he was ready to leave and get horizontal. I loved those dances. I got a taste of being Liberated Lorna with all my senses fully in gear. But the pull to be a perfect girlfriend yanked me away from my sisters, the music, and the magic of being “me.” I invariable let myself melt into the whirly-swirly world of “not-really-me.”
You know what happens to teens who drink and engage in naughty behavior. Did Lorna become one of “those girls?”









Jul 27, 2011 @ 15:57:33
No, sorry, blogging is as far into social networking as I’ve ventured. Hop onto a computer and subscribe to my blog. You won’t be disappointed!
Jul 25, 2011 @ 15:34:53
Isadora, this is just the type of feedback I am searching for. Thank you for your honesty and perception. This is a difficult series of stories to write because they are so personal and deal with very serious topics–alcoholism, internal struggles with myself, sexuality, even duplicity. Yet I want to write about them with a light-heartedness to convey to others who may have experienced similar feelings or circumstances that they don’t have to be life-long victims. They can choose to view their past as positive lessons from which they can learn important things about themselves and others.
I hope that comes through, too. Your interpretations are spot-on: I sacrificed who I was to please those around me. This has been a life-long pattern that I am just now learning to break, bit by bit. Life–such an interesting journey!
Jul 24, 2011 @ 16:38:04
Lorna,
This is by far more serious than it comes across. It has the tone of humor but just below the surface I could feel the struggle of a young teen trying to be all things to all in order to be what they want; while all the time she is longing inside to just be who she wants to be.
A teen confused – perhaps – but, I think it’s a teen willing to forgo who she is for the praise of others. Humor can hide a multitude of pain.
Hope I’m not being too honest and putting my own interpretation on it.
As always, great writing ….!!!
Namaste,
Isadora
Jul 23, 2011 @ 06:52:02
Do you have a Facebook page or Twitter? Would love to follow you there, I’m on my iPhone and love reading your stuff!
Jul 21, 2011 @ 11:56:26
Amen! It’s a wonder I survived to tell about it–and I consider myself to be a person who avoids risk! The next installment is coming soon…
Jul 21, 2011 @ 11:54:26
Thanks! It’s a miracle that I can conjure up the voice of Teen Lorna since so much of the time I felt like I wasn’t there. Your support makes this journey all the more important to continue.
Jul 21, 2011 @ 11:52:32
Thanks so much for your feedback. I am working on the next installment, but it does take some finessing to get the voice just right. Treating a serious and personal subject with levity without being disrespectful to others going through or who have gone through something similar is a tricky thing–at least it is for me. I edit my work to death!
Jul 21, 2011 @ 10:37:08
I note in response to one of the comments on this blog that you said this was a difficult post to write. You write with such humour about a subject that is so personal and I look forward to reading the next chapter – don’t keep us hanging on too long.
Jul 21, 2011 @ 09:24:46
How I wish I could think like the mind of a teenager. No worries, cares, and very little responsibilitites. All thoses experiences have made you who you are today. Your ability to express your experiences in the manner you do helps me imagine what you were like at that age.
Wonderful.
Jul 21, 2011 @ 09:19:55
I too, think it’s great. It is hard to write about this stuff light heartidly, because you look back going, thank God I survived all of that crazy I had going on in my teens! I know I am glad I did! LOL.
Jul 20, 2011 @ 15:59:17
I love, love, love that you think this was funny. It’s hard to write about this stuff in a light-hearted way. Thanks for the supportive comments.
Jul 20, 2011 @ 15:09:32
I love, love, love your sense of humor! Thanks for the laughs.