All is eerily quiet; I am alone and reflecting on the out-of-body experience I’ve had for the last, well, I don’t know. Where I’ve been, time is meaningless. I’ve unraveled many mysteries of humankind I never thought I’d untangle in this lifetime. I wish to share my discoveries with you now … now that my yard sale is over and I have returned from the “Other Side” (the side with the cash box).

  1. Letting go is hard. Many people who came to the sale wanted to buy but did not spend. The economy is hard on everyone, but, hey, I’m part of the “everyone.”  I had a sneaky suspicion that many of them were having their own yard sales later and were trying to buy low and sell high. Capitalists! I had to keep chanting, “It’s not about the money, it’s about getting rid of the clutter.” But I kept wondering what I sold for 50 cents would end up valuable enough to furnish someone’s summer home.
  2. There are two types of people: Casual Browsers and One-Item Hunters. The Casual browser saunters up with a passel of people, responds to your friendly greeting with an equally cordial one, handles a prodigious number of items, converses about the weather, pets, the neighborhood, other yard sales, someone’s ancestry, and where might they find a good dentist. The One-Item Hunter marches in alone and asks for one very specific item, which you are very unlikely to have because normal people do not generally stock extra of these items: rifles, antique music boxes, potato forks (for digging potatoes), and tiaras.
  3. If you want to be the hit of collectors, stockpile costume jewelry. Men, women, children, and even certain small dogs look for costume jewelry and will leave immediately if you have nothing to offer them but candles.
  4. Men will buy any tool or any heavy metal item. The man who put the tool in the sale will not be around when a man asking questions about the tool has detailed questions about the tool, such as “Is this what I think it is?” or “Does it work?” Your only recourse is your handy cell phone and the highly intelligent query, “Can you talk to Bob about that big red thingy?” Do I look like a pressure valve expert on the air compressor you’re about to spend $25.00 on?
  5. Adding a little levity helps. It’s hot, everyone’s tired, and the sheer volume of stuff surrounding everyone is weighty enough. A little laughter makes the day go faster. A woman found a “come-along” (some tool) for her husband and was delighted. She bought it immediately but hung around to chat. When she finally left, I said, “Now, scoot along with your come-along!” We all laughed. Another man was admiring some very heavy chains that could be used to sink a body in the Hudson River. He said, “You’ve got some nice-lookin’ chains there, Miss.” I replied, “Well, thank you, I sure don’t hear that every day!”

I left out a lot of details, including many thanks to Phil, Tina, and Jim who were instrumental in helping me get through it all.

The proceeds: just under $1,000. Was it worth it? Now that it’s over, heck yes!

I hope my words of wisdom from having crossed over and back have been helpful to you.